-All your relationships will end poorly anyway, so date for looks.
-Automatic mops never work out as well as you think.
-Point wand away from face at all times.
-Angst can replace the ether and Eldritch energy as a viable source of magical energy within the clearly-marked dénouement zone.
-Though people have been learning and speaking Latin academically for centuries, only you, while waving a stick, can make it blow up the world.
-A penis does not substitute for a wand ever. Don’t even try it. The sting stays with you.
-Zee goggles. Zey do nutzing!
-If your wizarding school gets a new student with a tragic and profound destiny, transfer out. The world will be saved regardless and you’ll be safer this way.
Dear boy, you have no idea how happy this made me, but be sure I was chuckling and muttering "Wow!" repeatedly under my breath the whole time.
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