Bathroom Monologue: A Little Knowing Is…

Vineguard: Little-known fact: the black cat crossing your path and bringing bad fortune superstition arose from Africa, where the cat was a hungry jaguar.

Ninx: Little-known fact: the sky is actually God’s genitals, and He has been celibate since the dawn of time. Not willingly, though.

Chambers: Subtle.

Ninx: Your turn.

Chambers: Little-known fact: vampires cannot cross running water because they don’t know how to build bridges.

Ninx: That’s just dumb.

Chambers: Ask one. They’re abominable architects.

Vineguard: [Writing his on his napkin to illustrate for his cohorts] Little-known fact: 111,111,111 times 111,111,111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321.

Chambers: New rule: no facts I’d need a calculator to check.

Vineguard: You’re free to call B.S., Randy.

Chambers: Screw that. I’m not losing again.

Ninx: Little-known fact: caution tape works poorly in advance.

Chambers: Okay. Little-known fact: this country isn’t the only one with a red, white and blue flag. France and England, two countries we often vilify, have the same color sets.

Ninx: Why would you bring that up? Do you hate America? These colors don’t run.

Vineguard: Plus, that’s not even true. I’ve been to France. Their flag is green and gold. Not only do you hate America, but you cheated at little-known facts. Lying is not okay in this game.

Ninx: Neither is dissing this country.

Vineguard: I’m afraid you lose.

Ninx: Get the drinks.

[Chambers gets up and goes to the bar, flummoxed.]

Vineguard: France’s flag isn’t green and gold.

Ninx: How the heck would I know? Couldn’t even point it out on a map. But I can’t pay for the next round, either.