Bathroom Monologue: Necessity, the Harlot

Necessity is the mother of Invention. Invention has many fathers because Necessity is a harlot, and one who often gives birth too late. I once saw her in a fine coffee shop. She was at the table of this German general. She’d excuse herself to the ladies room, then trot across and sit at the French general’s table. Seems they both had the necessity for killing each other and so desperately wanted to father her child they never looked up to see she was cheating on them. Like with the war, Necessity flirted out and left both generals with the bill for her cappuccino. That’s how she is. Necessity has no vested interest beyond fucking you. If an invention pops out of her, she doesn’t care. She necessitated the invention of epidural anesthesia years ago and hasn’t felt a thing since. It’s you who feels it. In the coffee shop case the Invention she squeezed out was a gun that shot a little faster. It had a mixed French and German accent.