Bathroom Monologue: Lame Parrot

"She's a lame parrot, I'll give you that. Malformed, with teeth instead of a beak and feathers so small and fine they feel almost like fur. It must be hard on her, utterly flightless, unable to join any flocks or fly south or whatever it is that other parrots do at the park. All she does when I take her out is run away from dogs. Disgusting thing, she'll just as soon hunt down a mouse as eat her seed. Sometimes I wonder why I keep her, but then I hold her in my lap, look down into those slitted eyes, and just know she's the sweetest parrot in all creation. An utter idiot, though. I said 'Meow' in front of her three years ago and now it's all she'll repeat."