Rodney: It’s a tie between Die Hard and Die Hard 2. It depends whether you’re more interested in blowing up an airplane or a skyscraper. Regardless, Bruce Willis has a lock on this.
Ben: I know what I vote for, but maybe you should ask Dad.
Aunt Sheena: We’re No Angels. I’d hang Humphrey Bogart’s stocking.
Gino: Toy Story! (upon being told Toy Story is not set on a holiday) Toy Story!
Dad: Ben says I know? Well, I guess you’re old enough for this story. Back when I first married your mother, Grandma was very rude to her. She picked on her whenever I left the room, and your mom never told me because she was trying to be a good sport. Grandma would complain about water stains on the silverware, or the brand of wine, or that food didn’t smell proper. Little things that can really hurt when they add up. I didn’t know about it until this one Christmas, when Grandma found out Ben was failing a couple classes and got it in her head that he shouldn’t get any presents until he shaped up. That’s what she used to do to me when I was little. Instead of bring this to me, she went to your mom and really tore into her about her parenting and your kids’ future, while your mother was struggling with the first turkey of her life. I came in with some firewood and found her sobbing, and Grandma acting insulted. When I asked, she bolted past us and locked the door to our bedroom. Ben let me know what was going on and, well, that’s the first and only time I ever kicked my mother out of a house. Even after that your mom wouldn’t let me into the room. Didn’t matter what I said. I could hear her crying and crying. It hurt to leave her like that, but I finished cooking and got you kids ready for supper. You were really little, probably don’t even remember any of this happened. We couldn't eat in the kitchen, because her wailing carried in and filled the room. The sobbing got so loud that it turned into pure noise. Soon I couldn’t tell if she was crying or laughing. I almost kicked in the door, because I thought your mom might hurt herself. I was reeling back to kick when the door opened. Her face was bloated and pink, but smiling. The TV was on behind her. She wiped away a tear and asked, “Have you ever seen The Ref?” Then busted up laughing. I’ve tried to watch it since. Denis Leary looks like he bit a lemon, and I don’t “get” Kevin Spacey. It doesn’t matter. That is the best Christmas movie. It might just have saved your mom's sanity.
Mom: It’s a Wonderful Life is nice.
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Love the dialogue here, John... As an aside... I once wrote a piece on DUDE CHRISTMAS MOVIES... There's way more than you might think.
ReplyDeleteI'd support the Die Hard nomination. Fun conversation, yet also very harsh (that's ringing some bells and skeletons). And at the end, very reassuring.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
My brother's favourite Christmas movie is Die Hard. :) Bruce Willis - is there anything he can't do?
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story John. Dad's little Christmas memory in the middle of all the others was a treat, and then Mom's ending was priceless.
I did laugh at the line "While your mother was struggling with the first turkey of her life" I know it wasn't meant to, but it gave me images of a young woman having a wrestling match on the kitchen floor with a forty pound bird.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite Christmas movie is National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, it has me in tears of laughter every time I watch it.
Happy Christmas John.
Niiice dialogue and isn't there always a family story in situations like the one presented here. I like it and thanks. Merry Christmas John.
ReplyDeleteI second (or third, or whatever) the other statements about dialogue ... dad's voice was pretty prosaic and matter of fact. I think I'd like him.
ReplyDeleteWell done, and Merry Christmas!
Anthony and Janet, thank you for the compliments on the voice. I kept rewriting Dad's paragraph and am relieved it isn't crap.
ReplyDeleteAdam, I may go watch Die Hard today. It's probably my favorite.
Laurita, it's not like Mom is wrong, right?
Steve, struggling with the first live turkey to ever break into her home? That's a valid interpretation!
Donald, I have lived through a similar situation, and heard similar stories too many times. Figured it would pop up in a BM eventually, right?
After Dad's long speech, Mom's final comment was laugh out loud funny! (As was Gino's love for Toy Story.) Great story as always. Loved the structure of this one.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, my vote is for Scrooged. I have to watch that one every year.
I concur with the Die Hard nomination! If not that, then maybe Lethal Weapon.
ReplyDeleteLoved the dialogue John.
ReplyDeleteAs for my fave, well right now it's Elf. I watched it with my daughter yesterday and hearing her bust up at all the goofy stuff Will Ferrell does to poor James Caan was just awesome. Sharing that time with her makes it the best. happy mommy face
Terrific story, John. for anyone who has ever had to kick someone out of the house for being an ass, this has a special resonance.
ReplyDeleteExcellent as always.
ReplyDeleteLoved Dad's story and my vote's with Mum.
Happy Christmas!
This is a great story, as others have said the dialogues is spot on.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Christmas.
I too imagined a young woman, (for some reason in 50's garb), wrestling the turkey on the table - funny image.
ReplyDeleteThis was a fun, somewhat nostalgic, (or is that the 50's woman wrestling?), piece John.
My favorite is Home for the Holidays, though it's set on Thanksgiving, but still...
Niiiiiice, but I agree with mom. I vote 'It's a Wonderful Life.'
ReplyDeleteI'm with mom and Gany: It's a Wonderful Life. Good stuff, John. Family dynamics are something, aren't they? I'm convinced that being the mother-in-law is a curse that all women have to face.
ReplyDeleteCute redirection going on here (ask Ben, ask Dad...). I like how they all have different viewpoints and the story-within-the-story drew me in to its world.
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Cracking dialogue...I'd go for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
ReplyDeleteHa! Hey, a husband's gotta do what he's gotta do. 'Tis a wonderful life.
ReplyDeleteYippie-kai-yay motherfu....anyway. Die Hard is good, but for Christmas I vote in the same crowd as "It's a Wonderful Life." Also, "Christmas Story" is good. But my personal tradition is a Harry Potter marathon. I watch 'em in whatever order I feel like. This year, OOTP was first.
ReplyDeleteNice story, John. Loved the father's take on it.
Oh, I'm SO glad the father kicked out his mother. What a nasty woman (I used to have a mother-in-law just like that and wish I could go back and boot her out of the house!)
ReplyDeleteBut I digress!
LOVED your story, Jon! Hilarious ending.
One of my favourite movies is an old one, "The Homecoming," the original Waltons. It's kind of depressing, though. If I want to laugh, it's A Christmas Story with the kid sticking his tongue to the flag pole.
Awwww, sweet! And I know this isn't very nice, but i'm glad he kicked Grandma out. ;)
ReplyDeleteLoved the story! Especially Dad's words. LOL That's the mother-in-law from hell.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my vote for best Christmas movie vote goes to Home Alone 2. March of the Wooden soldiers is good, too, though. And so is Scroogh.
ReplyDelete