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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Russians on the Minotaur

To hear today's monologue either click the streaming triangle on the left or click here to download the MP3.

My English is not so good. Your word? "Immortal?" I do not care so much for it. Have you seen end of time? Seen magic man-like-bull there? No? Then why say this word? I ask, does your man-like-bull breathe? Does he have big bull nose? Does chest go in and out? Because I never met immortals needing to breathing. I am thinking, this man-like-bull? He dies like man. He kills a man? He kills five men? Okay. I am Russian commander. I send hundred men down maze. He kills one. He kills five. He works. He breathes harder. He gets tired. Does not look immortal no more. That is how Russian solves Greek problem. You stay here with your "immortal" and your English grammar. I go do work.
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8 comments:

  1. SpotAugust 7, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Brilliance. Where do you come up with this stuff. I know writers are supposed to hate that question, but I love it. I love to ask it and I love to answer it when I'm asked. So really, where do you come up with this stuff?

    Very interesting paragraph. I could hear his Russian accent.

    Stacey

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  2. Cat RussellAugust 7, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    Hehe, loved it. I liked the accent too!

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  3. HarryAugust 7, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    Very cool John!

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  4. Danielle La PagliaAugust 7, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    I actually listened to the audio version for once and loved it! Great accent.

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  5. helenAugust 7, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    Ha ha loved it John, and loved it even more when I listened to you reading it - you got the accent just right.

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  6. Larry KollarAugust 7, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    I can relate to the commander… "I go do work." Sometimes, you gotta stop jawboning and DO something.

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  7. John WiswellAugust 8, 2011 at 12:25 AM

    Glad you folks enjoyed the recording!

    To Spot's question, ideas come from all sorts of places. I wrote this while watching Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator last week. I noticed Stalin was absent from the satire, which got me in the mind of brutal Russian leaders. Talked a little with someone about what a monster Mussolini was. The "monster" word triggered more general monsters. Went to the bathroom, and connected Russian commanders with a legendary beasts.

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  8. SpotAugust 8, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Thank you for the explanation. It still seems a big leap from point A to point B for me, but well my train jumps the tracks a lot too.

    And when I said I could hear the accent, I meant in my head when I was reading because I didn't listen to the audio. Oops.

    Stacey

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