Bathroom Monologue: The Best Movie Trailer You’ll Never SEE

Black screen. Somber and sober music plays.

In classy, wispy font, the following materializes on screen:

“From the producer of BLACK HAWK DOWN”

These words fade out. After a second, they are replaced by:

“And from the writer of ROCKY”

These words, too, fade out. After a second, they are replaced by:

“And from the Governor of CALIFORNIA.”

As these words fade,
the somber music swells in an orchestral imitation of a guitar riff,
though we must not sully the trailer with actual guitars.
Splash the title logo in style that reminds us of MGM.

“EXPENDABLES 2.”

And in much smaller font, where the “TM” would normally appear,
simply write:

“You’re Welcome.”