Bathroom Monologue: Trolls Like

Trolls may be extremely dumb, but they do like some things. They like marshmallows, usually to squish between their toes. They like Dwarfs, who are their creators; no matter how lost a Dwarf is, he or she will always have something menial for his or her Troll to do. Trolls love menial things. The only complicated thing Trolls seem to enjoy is tormenting Gnomes. We can't really say why, but Trolls can always be relied upon to nip Gnome Homes and wear them as hats, or pester Gnomish doctors on their way to a needy patient, or abduct the tallest Gnome available and use it in an impromptu game of tabletop football (with lots of unnecessary field goal attempts). Some chalk it up to an ancient grievance, but this is generally ruled out because Trolls can barely keep track of the time of day, let alone grasp a sense of history. Some chalk it up to the deep similarity between Dwarfs and Gnomes, and apply Freudian analysis to the origin of hostilities. They say Trolls are taking out their frustrations with their creators on other wee folk. While most Trolls are too simple to grasp psychoanalysis, one particularly bright Troll, when asked about this theory, said Freud seemed, "quite Gnomish."