Friday, May 2, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: Geniuses fall in love too, Frankie Lymon

[GARY in a pink pinstripe suit, SPIDER in a spandex superhero costume, and ARYANA, dressed in fur-lined Valkyrie armor. ARYANA’s broadsword is propped up against the restaurant window. SPIDER’s mask is pulled up to his nose, and he is sipping a strawberry milkshake through a curly straw.]

Aryana: Why are men such fools?
Gary: Because otherwise, we'd never fall in love with you.

[ARYANA punches GARY, knocking him out of the booth]

Spider: We’re not all so bad.
Aryana: I’m unconvinced.
Spider: It’s not like I haven’t had my heart broken.
Aryana: Yeah?
Spider: It feels like they tear it right through the ribs. You can feel the emotional hole bleeding.

[GARY climbs back into the booth]

Gary: Your girlfriend was dropped off a bridge by a maniac in bionic armor. It’s not like your breakup was anything like hers.
Aryana: Actually that’s frighteningly close to mine.

[ARYANA shoves GARY out of the booth again, then leans towards SPIDER]

Aryana: What was her name?
Spider: “Wind Rider,” ironically enough.
Aryana: That’s terrible.
Gary: [From off screen] On multiple levels.

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