Bathroom Monologue: Bathroom Monologue aboard Delta Flight 1972 from Cincinnati

“You know why I like you, John? Because I could smack this plane right out of the sky, sending you to certain death, powerless against it and without any contribution to it, smashing down on the highway beside the terminals and onto an S.U.V., and you’d feel guilty towards the driver. Somehow, somewhere in-between the miniscule amount of weight you added to the fall, your presence on the offending plane, and your proximity to someone else’s pain, you’d feel guilty right before you died. It’s adorable.”