Bathroom Monologue: Bad jokes that I need to get out of my head

-What do a Playboy photographer and a zombie have in common? They both just want a little more skin.
-Why does the phone ever ring at the psychic hotline?
-When asked if the man makes the times or the times makes the man, he replied, “The Times’ editor is actually a woman.”
-Aeneas: I seduced Dido, and all I got was a bad case of harpies.
-Make out with a bird and you get chirpies.
-Weeze the juice at a 7-11 and you get slurpees.
-The F.D.A approved that God didn't exist, but catastrophic side effects warranted a recall.
-Shakespeare died and was surprised to find himself at the gates of Heaven. However as he was about to go in, God stopped him, poked him in the chest and said, "So, 'a tale told by an idiot,' huh?"