Friday, January 16, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: G1 and G2

We stole this idea from Japanese cartoons. Reincarnation is huge over there, and they like to do series asking what it would be like if the Shinsengumi or some mythological characters were born again today. So we’re going to do that here, asking what it would be like if King Arthur’s court were all reincarnated today in the same state. I’m saying Montana, because that place is almost barren as it is, giving us plenty of spacious settings for giant-scale fight scenes. We’ll start off with it just being Arthur and his wingman, Lance. Natural birthing issues will intervene; use of forceps in Sir Galahad’s birth leave him clinically brain damaged, and Guinevere is divided into two monozygotic twins. The multiple Guinevere solves most of the Arthur/Lancelot love triangle, though I’m thinking G1 and G2 swap boys without telling them, just to mess with them. We can play it up if we’re optioned by one of the trashier channels.

Arthur and G2 wise up on the whole reincarnation thing and avoid disaster in future seasons by aborting Mordred.

The Holy Grail will be the trophy for the state football finals. The reincarnated Gawain will fulfill the legend of being the only one who reaches the grail by transferring to another school at the last minute and winning the thing. The last episode will focus on his retrospective, reading hard history on how Arthurian folklore was almost entirely bogus, leaving him to wonder how all these crazy stuff happened if they aren’t living an actual mythological cycle. He’s about to figure it out when he gets eaten by a dragon.

If it’s successful we’ll do a spinoff with the Founding Fathers. Ben Franklin will make an awesome cheerleader.

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