Sunday, August 9, 2009


A Sunday bonus, the transcript of last night's #classicsontwitter from The game was to adapt classics of literature onto Twitter. It's very similar to a project I did in college, "ObLiteration," which may have to come back.

Tonight we remake classics of literature for Twitter!

Moby Dick: Crew and crazy captain look for a white whale. And look. And look. And look. Then it kills them.

Grapes of Wrath: Family is poor, needs work. Travels west. Everybody is poor. No jobs in the west.

Great Gatsby: Rich guy is sad his girlfriend married another. Misses her. Hooks up with her and is shot by her husband.

The Iliad: Greeks can't get into Troy. Achilles won't help. His buddy dies. He helps. Greeks still outside.

Huckleberry Finn: Boy flees father, slave flees master. Hijinx ensue until dad is dead and slave is emancipated. Whoops!

Catcher in the Rye: Boy leaves school to whine at hookers and family. Winds up crazy, apparently.

Hamlet: Prince feigns insanity to cover up king's ghost told him to kill people. Everyone dies.

One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest: Sane man in an insane asylum. Hates nurse. Hijinx ensue. Gets lobotomized.

The Metamorphosis: Man turns into a giant bug. He dies.

The Scarlet Letter: Hester has a child out of wedlock. She is ostracized. She dies.

Crime and Pushiment: Poor guy kills rich woman. Gets sick, gets caught, goes to jail in Siberia.

War and Peace: Several aristocratic families rise and fall during the Napoleanic conquest. Most fall.

Gulliver's Travels: Man visits and island of tiny people, then giants, then talking horses, then goes crazy.

1984: A man has sex with an insurgent. The government brainwashes him.

Romeo & Juliet: Two teens are in love. The parents disapprove. She fakes dying. He kills himself. She kills herself.

Cyrano de Bergerac: An ugly but brilliant man uses another guy as a puppet to tell a pretty girl how he feels. He dies.

The Aeneid: A soldier without a country woos a queen, ditches her, fights monsters and founds Rome.


  1. Oh I so want to play too:

    The Hound of the Baskervilles:

    Detective snorts coke. Smokes pipe. Finds dog. Ends badly,... for dog.

    Gone With The Wind:

    Primadonna picks wrong side. Loses house. Eats Dirt. Falls down stairs. Learns lesson. Too late.

    Waiting for Godot

    Two Rusky clowns wait. Wait some more. Keep waiting. Godot is a no show. Blackberry crashed.


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