Bathroom Monologue: Ghosts are Jerks

"Why do ghosts never just explain themselves to people? Why are they always cryptic, and often straight-up jerks to the living? My answer is simple: they're like Seniors.

“Why doesn’t a class of high school Seniors recognize that Freshmen are awkward and cut them slack? Why not sympathize with this group when you used to be one of them? Why not hang out with them and treat them as equals? They’re only a couple years younger, and honestly neither group has a better idea of how the real world works. The Seniors only hold a little more experience in this one.

“But they don’t behave decently. They don’t because it was hard on them when they were Freshmen, because it’s their turn to be jerks now, and frankly, because being a Senior takes a lot of time and energy, leaving them much less likely to empathize with their inferiors.

“You are a ghost’s Freshman. They already took Bio and Home Economics and don’t feel like putting up with that crap again. That you’re so lost only comforts them, because at least they aren’t in your position anymore. You’re lucky ghosts only take it so far, because while getting stuffed in a locker in bad, a coffin is a whole other thing.”