Saturday, December 26, 2009

Bathroom Monologues: My Muslim Bruthaz

[The restaurant is mostly empty. Green and red streamers are strewn about and Christmas lights are still up on the windows. SAMID sits on one side of the booth in a pink tuxedo and red Santa hat. ARYANA sits on the other side in a chainmail pantsuit and red Santa hat.]

Aryana: "Muzlims."

Samid: It’s actually moose-lahms.

Aryana: Moose-lambs?

Samid: Moose, like the animal. The second syllable is less important, but it’s kind of an ‘a’ sound, with a really soft hint of ‘h.’ Muslim. It was translated into language poorly. Muslims judge how familiar you are with their culture by how you pronounce it.

Aryana: …We spelled their name wrong?

Samid: Both syllables.

Aryana: No wonder we have bad relations with them.

Samid: And then there’s when it’s right to say Muslim or Islam…

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