Thursday, October 28, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Familiarity Does

Matvey stood under the 40-watt bulb in the garage, sizing up the body. He pulled on some latex gloves and picked up the wire cutters, nodding like a lumberjack sizing up a young tree. He took the cadaver’s left hand and began snipping off the fingertips so that the authorities wouldn’t be able to run prints if they found it after he dumped it in the river. The fingers swished into the wastebasket as he responded to Nikola’s assertion.

“They may say familiarity breeds contempt, but I’ve always considered that glib. Sure, you’ve got to know what something is to hate it, but that isn’t always why you hate it. Sometimes you hate something because you can’t figure it out.”

He dropped the left hand to start on the right. It lolled off the side of the workbench, bushing against Matvey’s knee. He kicked it aside and continued.

“Now your country’s Mark Twain said familiarity breeds children, which is funnier. Also less true, I think. I am mighty familiar with my siblings, but unless I blacked out one holiday, I never fathered a baby by them.”

He dropped the wire cutters into the basket along with the fingers and the last of his low mein. Prying open the mouth, he squinted, angling the head so the garage’s dim bulb could illuminate inside.

“No, Nikola. I think familiarity breeds ability. The more familiar you get, the easier it is to do something. You get on a unicycle enough and you don’t even have to think about pedaling.”

Matvey grunted at Nikola’s bridgework and reached for the pliers.


  1. Dark and fabulous. Love it. :)

  2. I've gotta say, I'm really loving your dark turn lately. And you do without losing your sense of humor. I love it.

  3. Thanks you two! October does this sort of thing to my blog posts. The dark turn will brighten back up in the early weeks of November, though there will probably be some bloody leftovers. Smiley face.

  4. Nice and dark for Halloween. And I like his theory too. Such a well rounded serial killer.

    Also, this reminds me eerily of a pathologist I met in med school. I had the distinct feeling that when he wasn't teaching he still talked while he worked.


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