Thursday, January 20, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Triple Time Travel


Time travel actually was discovered many centuries ago. In one of life's great paradoxes it was discovered simultaneously by the ancient Egyptians, ancient Mayans, and a couple of very bored 17th century British children. All three met up at precisely the same non-time, hurtling towards the revelations of the future. They arrived at the first great ripple in time, a mushroom cloud over Hiroshima, and skidded over a sea of months, crashing into a snow bank. They bickered over whether human-made global warming could have caused such a snow bank while the children perused culture. They found a present where intimate diaries were supplanted by the Facebook Wall. The dominant musicians, a Justin Bieber and one Jonas Brothers, were in a feud that consisted of accusing one another of femininity. And the president was a Nazi for wanting public health care, and some woman in a red blazer was a Nazi for shooting a moose, and some principal who disapproved of his students rutting in the bathroom was a Nazi for his haircut. They had to travel back in time a little to understand what a Nazi was. After the discovery, they took their technology further back. They've spent a paused eternity playing practical jokes on dimetrodons. This is the most you'll ever hear about it, though, since inter-chronal machines don't fossilize well and these travelers like time to themselves.

5 comments:

  1. Brilliant. I wish I had time to myself. thoughtful face

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  2. Funny stuff, John. Gosh I wish I had a machine to escape the Beiber years.

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  3. I agree that the word Nazi gets tossed around so much. We need to remember what REAL nazis once did and quit turning on each other like rabid wolvreines. Nice spot there. I love these little glimpses of future echos you're doing. Keep it up!

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  4. The last two sentences make me strangely happy. I approve of how they're using this machine!

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