Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Fate Worse Than Death

“This one I call the 'Afterlife Spell.' A lot of people can threaten you with death. A knife, a gun, slathering you in gravy and tossing you to wolves. But death doesn’t last long enough.

“What the Afterlife Spell does is sustains your consciousness after your body quits. After your neurons cease firing, you’ll keep feeling everything. The maggots pushing into you. The skin drying and tearing. The ligaments rotting. You’ll feel the aching decay of your entire body over the course of months. The truly special part is that your selfishness remains; you’ll want to not end, and so desperately hold onto your consciousness as that physical real estate dries up. Eventually you’ll be one flickering microbe, begging to hurt a little longer.

“I save this spell for people who hurt my daughter. I hear you’re taking her to Arby’s?”


  1. Possibly a wee bit overprotective?

    Gah, what a terrifying thought this is.

  2. "Fortunately, sir, I don't believe in magic."

  3. I'm fortunate to have never have had to resort to such things viz-a-viz my own daughter. I just tell 'em like it is: if they hurt her, all I have to do is clean up the mess after she finishes.

    Verification word: botgater — hm, there's a novel way to deal with spambots.

  4. Wow. The one thing I've depended on is the belief that death brings non-feeling and a permanent loss of consciousness. But what if that's not true? *Sigh* Well, that's one more thing to add to my list of anxieties...

  5. You just wrote down one of my worst nightmares. Don't want to wake up trapped in that box.

  6. As a father of a daughter... I need that spell! :)

    Love the story, John.

  7. what a dark thought that spell is!


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