Friday, December 9, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Petra’s Ghost

Petra’s ghost? I hate when living people talk like that. I am not Petra’s ghost. My parents were never around for weekends. I was a virgin until twenty-seven. I went into Marine Biology because sharks are awesome, and I was on my way to the interview of a lifetime when a semi jumped the divider and plowed into my cab, killing me 'instantly.' That’s what the doctor said to my parents. “She died instantly. She never felt a thing.” He was wrong.

This is all mine. My doctors, my parents, my wrongs. I am not Petra’s ghost. I am Petra.

I’m your ghost, I’m this highway’s ghost, I’m the ghost of curiosity for the ocean. But I will never be Petra’s possession. I will possess concrete and sea breeze. I’ll be their ghosts, and that’ll be fine, because it’s what I decide to do. It’s what Petra Nebrich does. I’m all I ever was, and I am all Petra Nebrich ever will be. And if that’s a tragedy, then it’s my tragedy.

29 comments:

  1. "I’m all I ever was, and I am all Petra Nebrich ever will be." I love this line. Such a dark bitter piece this week, John, but I found myself rereading several times to let each line really sink in.

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  2. This is a dark piece yet hidden within it shows the frustration Petra feels. As like Danni I too loved this line "I’m all I ever was, and I am all Petra Nebrich ever will be."
    is so powerful, full of meaning.

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  3. Do we possess our essence or does our essence possess us?

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  4. Wonderful approach to the topic. It could veer close to bitterness but you've infused it with a definite sense of defiance.

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  5. Great perspective on this. We don't say, "I am Tony's adult self" in order to differentiate ourselves as we are now from ourselves as children. I could see Petra talking about "Back when I was alive..." in the same way people talk about any former stage of existence. "Back when I was at university..." or "Back when I was married to Jennifer...".

    I like your vision, John.

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  6. Loved this! You should expand and turn it into a short story!

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  7. John, I love how perfectly you caputred the frustration in her voice. This is a favorite.

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  8. Danni, glad that line stuck for you. It's certainly the thesis statement of her monologue. Did any other bits stick on the re-reads?

    Helen, what meaning did you take from the line?

    Icy, yes, she's definitely bitter to some degree, but I didn't want to make it exclusively like that. I'm glad the defiance also clicked for you.

    Tim and Tony, I'm a proponent of "man is a ghost who haunts himself."

    Lacy, what elements would you like to see expanded?

    Deanna, thanks! Did anything in particular seem to capture frustration for you?

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  9. I agree with Icy. Petra has definitely taken charge of the situation!

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  10. Beautiful, poetic and thought-provoking. Your choice and use of language is sublime, John. I also love Petra's voice. I agree with Lacy that you could expand it with back story, future story or just weird story. It reads like a prologue (but it is still a thing of beauty out on its own).
    great stuff

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  11. Petra is a defiant ghost. ;) I like the idea of possessing concrete and sea breezes.

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  12. A character study of a ghost: great idea. I also love that line "I'm all i ever was...."

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  13. I love Petra's perspective - "I am Petra". The attitude made it fun to read.

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  14. Brilliant piece, J.

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  15. My jaw is on the floor, and I must applaud you. That was a damn interesting take on being a ghost. It was, dare I say, even a little philosophical.

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  16. Brilliant stuff, John. Really enjoyed it.

    I think this says more about me than anything, but my favourite line was: "I went into Marine Biology because sharks are awesome.."

    It's powerfully and maturely 'spoken' all the way through, but this line seemed to be showing the more youthful/childlike side of Petra.

    Plus, it's funny.

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  17. I get the feeling Petra doesn't view herself any differently now than she did while she was alive. The idea that others *do* is what seems to irk her so much. I liked it.

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  18. Great little snippet. The ending was perfect.

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  19. Wow, this little slice of dark really highlights how versatile a writer you are. Great job.

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  20. Tom, since it was going to be so much shorter I wanted the language and details to be more evocative. Very relieving to read you folks found them functional. Still not sure if I could expand her and her alone into a tale, but as part of one, Petra might live on.

    Sonia, ever felt any chills around such things?

    Raven, I could see approaching this from the philosophy of identity. So happy this one spoke to you, Raven.

    Jack, between you and me, that's my favorite line, too. It is funny, and it does break up the characterization she'd otherwise get. I'm really glad it sunk in for you.

    Madison, exactly, Petra doesn't like that she'd be viewed as anything but herself.

    Michael, I must always try different things or I'll go stiff and stale. Nobody'll want me then.

    Craig, Chuck, Scribbler, Louise and Anonymous, thanks for the kind words.

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  21. @John I took it to mean that she acknowledges who she is and who she has become—not what others believe her to be. I found it powerful because she understands herself.

    Is this some sort of test for me John? ^__^

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  22. I like her determination, her drive to continue to be who she was — IS. I think "I am not Petra's ghost. I am Petra." summed it up.

    Trying to figure out how the sentences about her parents & her virginity fit in though. They sort of imply this was excerpted from a longer piece, but you've said in the comments above that it's not so.

    But no matter. These short, punchy pieces (evocative of Danni's work) are always a delight to read.

    Verification word: "prized." 'Nuff said.

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  23. Dear John,

    Went looking for something by you for FridayFictioneers and I'm glad I did. Petra's Ghost is the best piece of yours that I've read. We exist on a plane that prevents examination of other possible planes except through out of body experiences, imagination and dreams.

    You captured the voice of being.

    Compelling.

    Thanks for writing.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  24. I love how the title is exactly what the character rails against and how, in a few words, you've captured the 'spirit' of Petra's personality.

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  25. John, you asked what other line stuck with me and it's "He was wrong." Every time I read it I pause there and just let the words hang in my mind. Three simple words but they carry so much weight.

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  26. I liked the ghost's sense of what on this Earth she wants to embody, her power over her fate as a ghost. I also liked the way you told us how Petra died; not a day goes by I don't think of dying suddenly, out of the blue and without any control whatsoever over the fatal event (maybe I'm strange for thinking that way, but it forces me to appreciate life, and the thoughts of death come unintentionally). A thought provoking story.

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  27. Petra was, and is, a forceful person. " I went into Marine Biology because sharks are awesome..."

    Love that line and the strength of the character that's clear in every statement she makes about herself.

    Love it.

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  28. Petra is one beautiful person and I want to read more from this viewpoint.

    The annoyance Petra has with weight living people talk about her and her view that “sharks are awesome” were what initially enticed me in her voice.

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  29. Unfortunately, people talk only in terms of what they know... even when they don't know what they're talking about. I like the defiant attitude in this, not be labeled as a possession. She just is. Thanks for sharing.

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