Monday, January 21, 2013

My Foot Stopped Working: MRI Day



Some time since my original post I began experiencing a similar numbness and loss of control in my right foot. It began with the outer toes, just like the left. As though fearing it's being out-shined, now four toes are perpetually numb on the left and I have to consciously exercise them to make sure when they operate. Today I felt the loss of control in some calf muscles. It's back now, which is a relief. I wasn't able to identify which muscles went out on me.
Breezy.
On Friday I had a spinal MRI. Blood tests came back almost entirely negative, which was great in that I didn’t have any of those diseases, but disappointing in that I didn’t have an explanation. It’s worthwhile trade; it’s simply a disappointment-balance I want to note. In brainstorming other horrible bodily malfunctions we crossed my history of back problems; after I learned to walk again in Middle School, it would go out as often as four times a week on me. So the hypothesis is that some lingering vertebrate problem or pinched nerve is hampering my legs. Seems plausible enough to warrant manipulating magnetism for my benefit. They rarely let you manipulate magnetism when you want, like in traffic or in a queue.

MRIs fascinate and soothe me. A lot of people complain about claustrophobia and the noises – both of which are sensible complaints. If some jerk behind the glass hit a button, the platform could easily crush you to death. It’s the most immediate representation of how medical science puts our lives in other people’s hands.

The MRI operator offered me headphones with four varieties of music: 60’s, 70’s, Hip Hop, or Classical. I chose Classical, and as I was elevated into the ceramic doughnut of magnetism, I was treated to the most foreboding piano solo imaginable. If you imagine a montage in any movie where the main character goes to the hospital, gets tests and gets bad news, this would be playing in the background. I almost hit the emergency button because I was laughing so hard. It got better when the piano was overridden by the MRI noises itself.

The noise-canceling headphones did not work against the brute force of the MRI machine. Those noises bother nearly as many people as the claustrophobia, but I like them. It sounds like someone is hammering in the next room, and several times it’ll sound like a circular saw, only not as constant, instead broken up into deliberate patterns. The noises are loud and startle a primal part of the psyche; but they’re habitual, highly intentional things as well. The cacophony is too deliberate to be ruckus. That’s good science there.

I see my primary care physician about it tomorrow. We’ll find out if the problem lies in my spinal column soon.

Fine, here's a goatee picture.

27 comments:

  1. Here's hoping it's something that can be worked out with spinal manipulation. Physical therapy hurts, but it's better than surgery + physical therapy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will still take surgery over paralysis, but I'm hopeful. There are cases of neuropathy just vanishing, and many more of neuropathy having only limited motor function interruption. Obviously many more have no interruption at all, but I'm not in that camp.

      Delete
  2. I like this post, you have a great way with words. I'm sorry to hear you're having health problems, though. As someone who was misdiagnosed for 5 years and then spent another 2 on getting the right diagnosis, I share your aggravation toward 'not knowing'. You can fight what you know, right?

    I hope it works out for you, and that it can all be solved in a pain-free manner.

    Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it, LT! I intend to chronicle this whole thing if it becomes an ordeal, but I'd hate to make my problems boring. Then what's the point of having them?

      Delete
  3. I echo the previous comments. Hope you get your answer soon, John!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good luck John. This sounds terrifying so I can only imagine what it must be like to experience. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. John, thank you for sharing. I somehow feel this written in a calm tone, but it's all the way more scary. I hope your health problems get resolved as soon as possible, and you are fine. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried to write it in the same tone of humor I took the MRI in. I actually find MRIs very interesting.

      Delete
  6. I really hope you get this resolved, and soon. Super kudos to you for keeping your humour - what music would you choose in hindsight? I expect hip hop to be the safest bet - guns 'n' ho's and no dirges.

    Take care of yourself, and good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the claustrophobia would get me, being a person that has a hard time when movies feature coffins or cave structures. Loud noises? Meh. My mother loved remodeling. I grew up with loud noises.

    Good that they ruled out some things. Crossing my fingers for a resolution soon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Keeping you in thoughts and prayers. Hope everything becomes clear shortly and you and the docs can form a good game plan.

    (I don't mind MRI's on extremities. I think it was the one time I'd had it on my HEAD it really sucked. They don't give you headphones for that. There's no point.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The headphones didn't serve much of a point after they turned it on. Very loud machines, but don't you find their noise reassuring?

      Delete
  9. The beard is lookin' pretty fly, muchaco.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It just needs some trimming. My shaver ran out of batteries. Why does my shaver run on batteries?

      Delete
  10. You do look mighty cheerful there! I'll admit I'm a wee bit disappointed that the MRI wasn't haunted.

    Hope you get some answers soon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good wishes to you and a speedy diagnosis

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good luck, John! Here's wishing you well. *gentle hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  13. Glad the blood tests came back negative, and doubly hope you can get some real answers soon. Keep your head up, John! Sounds like you have a great attitude about it all, which is tremendous. I'll keep positive thoughts heading your way.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Rockin' that goatee!

    Good to know you're not diabetic or worse. Let's hope that all your problems can be solved by twice-weekly massages, that the insurance company has to cover. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  15. I understand the mixed feelings about negative blood tests. The negatives are good, but knowing what is happening (and why) would be better. I loathe and detest MRIs (claustrophobia and the noise) and only the thought that if I scream my lungs out we have to start again keeps me still. And the last one on my brain lasted nearly two hours.
    Good luck - I really hope you get some answers soon. Answers which allow you to recognise the enemy. And thank you for keeping us up to date.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am that awful sort of person who simply wants to know and deal with a thing, not wait, anticipate and hypothesize about the possible things. In most cases, anyway. Certainly in health. Perhaps it comes from a childhood of painful slow band-aid removals?

      Delete
  16. Best of luck with the results tomorrow, John. And, please, for the love of God, no more gown shots. ;)

    Although the goatee looks nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's actually an album of them coming to Facebook soon. Shield your eyes.

      Delete
  17. Sorry you are having so much trouble, John. It's good you can still manage to find humor in it. Still, I hope you don't have to grin through it for too long. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Good luck tomorrow John - glad it's not the dire illness it could have been hoping the vertebrae theory is correct.Guessing the can do something about that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We'll find out! Physician's Assistant was murky on what we'd do it if it turned out to be spinal.

      Delete
  19. Well I'm glad it all went well for you. I I'll be thinking of your tomorrow. You said "So the hypothesis is that some lingering vertebrate problem or pinched nerve is hampering my legs" That's what I suggested to you in a tweet, remember. Let's hope it's something as simple at that. BTW I have this problem too and get nerve twinges in my leg knee and toes until I can manip my back back into shape!

    ReplyDelete

Counter est. March 2, 2008