Thursday, January 17, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: Generous in General

General Electric recently pledged to harvest millions of gallons of pure water from the oceans every year. Billionaire philanthropist Stewart Tiddlesworth will not be outdone, even by a major international monopoly. He has already pledged to retrieve millions of cubic yards of air from the atmosphere by the year 2010. His land development wing is already hard at work liberating tons of surcharge-free stone from the Rockies. And in case this summer is again too boiling hot, his expeditionary divisions are extracting ice from the south pole, which they will distribute at a modest fee. There is no height of philanthropy Tiddlesworth Co. Ltd. won't go to (and copyright) for the good of humanity.

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