Friday, July 24, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Inspector Conan, an anime about a teenager stuck in a child’s body who solves crimes, has gone over 500 episodes, OR, Could you..?

-The guy who replaces sodas in vending machine is found dead in his own soda dispenser.

-The guy who collects all the soda cans from the recycling bin is found dead in his own sorting machine.

-The guy who owns the store where those soda murders took place sells it, only to be found dead by the new owner the next morning in his old office, safe open and all the doors locked from the inside.

-NRA president chokes to death on a peanut. But he didn’t eat peanuts…

-Dog walker is strangled to death when his neck was entangled in the leashes of his flock of dogs. But he’d never be so careless!

-A Horror novelist dies of no apparent cause at all. No marks or cuts, drugs in the house or poison in her system. It’s as though… but that can’t be!

-A Mystery novelist is killed in a curious way, found dead in her car on a stretch of back road she’d never visited before. It’s curious because it follows exactly how the victim died in her upcoming book, but that book wasn’t finished. Or was it?

-Wealthy socialite washes up on a beach, seemingly mauled by a shark. But there are no sharks in those waters.

-All the counselors at Camp Crystal Lake have gone missing. People in town say a boy drowned there years ago due to counselors ignoring him, and now he’s back for revenge, but Conan is not so superstitious. Or is he?

-Crossover with a remake of The Good Son. Just have him deal with a psycho murderous child.

-Speaking of crossovers, the Child’s Play series enjoys getting ridiculous. Have Conan fight a haunted serial killing doll.

-A lighting rig falls, nearly crushing a rising pop star mid-finale. She made many enemies on her rise to celebrity. That’s always fun.

-Internationally successful marathon runner disappears on a jog and his coach seems conspicuously nervous when interviewed despite having an alibi with his other clients.

-The upfront psycho murderous child returns the same day as a neighborhood child is slain, and all evidence points towards Conan! Can he clear his name?

-A psychic helped the police solve several otherwise unsolvable mysteries, but she couldn’t foresee her own death. Now it’s up to Conan to bring justice to her memory, but if the claims are true, all his suspects can see him coming.

-A zoo keeper is mauled to death by what seems to be a big cat. Yet all his animals are locked up and there is no evidence any of them touched him. Besides, how could one have gotten into his sixth-story apartment?

-A two-part drama where Conan finds a boy identical to himself dead in his bed. The cast mourn his death and for no readily apparent reason do not recognize Conan to be Conan anymore. What happened to his identity? Is he himself?

-482-part drama where Conan goes to Chucky Cheese. Corporate America will pay.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, sounds like you plotted out a whole season of C.S.I.


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