Saturday, February 6, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Behold!

Its molecules have a special adhesive property that will not only bond to flesh on contract, but will seep through other materials like gloves so that anyone who picks it up will surely be stuck to it. Cutting edge subliminal messaging flashes on the screen to suggest reading the iReader’s preloaded books no matter what you’re using it for. None of the books were written by authors, instead generated through advanced focus testing on the levels of Novelty, Arousal, Superficiality, Chapter Brevity, and that weird kind of offensiveness that makes people tune into Howard Stern even though they hate him. Even if the books fail to snag an iReader customer’s attention span, a micro-gravity anomaly will force the iReader to remain between chest- and eye-level for the customer at all times. These are hard times for books, but the iReader promises to save us by finally producing a book that is impossible to put down.


  1. I think I've read a few of these. After finishing the last page, I think, "Why did I waste 16 hours on that crap?"

  2. Hmmm, can I buy some stock in that company?

    Peace, Linda

  3. Could that be the holy grail of book publishing? ;)


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