Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Describe UFO

The object appeared around dusk. It circled in the moon about once every ten seconds, leaving a white trail behind it that formed a visible circle. Amateur astronomers had no idea what the trail was made of or what the object was. Whatever it was, it kept adjusting its flight pattern such that its white circle was visible in the sky from earth throughout the night.

Leena’s telescope wasn't that advanced. At the highest magnification the object only looked like a white dot. She doubted sincerely that the object was just a white dot.

She looked up from the telescope again and wrote more on her pad. On TV the reporters shifted talk away from the object, saying they wanted to spend a minute on the day's protests in Washington, but they'd be back with a spokesman from NASA after commercials. Her roommate reached for the remote.

"Don't touch it, Sam," Leena warned, finishing her notes.

Sam groused. "Come on. I want to watch TV, and there's no way that thing is a UFO."

"Is it in the sky?"

Sam rolled her eyes and smoothed out her yellow pajama bottoms.


"So then it's flying. Can you tell me what that thing is?"

On the television, the Washington pundit disappeared, replaced by soothing ads for depression drugs. Her roommate mulled the problem over for a couple of commercials before proposing something.

"Maybe it’s a wormhole. No one’s ever really seen one."

"If a black hole opened in the middle of the sky the earth would be sucked in by now. Certainly the moon. That is not a wormhole."

"Okay, it's not a wormhole. But you don't know what it is either."

"Then it's unidentified. And if it's unidentified and flying, it's a UFO. Unless you can divine that it's not an object."

On the television, the ads were replaced with high definition footage of the object from a space satellite. Several thousand miles closer than Leena’s telescope and it still only looked like a white dot circling the moon.

"It could be an optical illusion."

"Shut up, Sam. Science is happening."

“I wish science would happen when House isn’t on,” she said, turning up the volume so Leena could hear better.

1 comment:

  1. This is fantastic! Especially since "I wish science would would happen when House isn't on," is a feeling shared by most of my family regarding science, politics, or any other worldwide events.


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