Monday, November 15, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Should Tweet and Should Not Tweet

You should not tweet that Idol just started. Everyone knows when it started. It has millions of viewers.

You should tweet that you’ve been smoking in my house and often forget to extinguish your cigarettes.

You should not tweet that you’re uncertain if this peanut butter is expired. The expiration is on the side.

You should tweet that this carpeting cost me over ten thousand dollars and is very flammable.

You should not tweet that your cousin Tiffany is a slut. She isn’t, she will read that, and she will cry.

You should tweet that you can’t tell the difference between the smell of popcorn in a microwave and a house fire upstairs.

You should not tweet bragging that you’ve been in my room. I will read that when I’ll already be in a very bad mood.


  1. I enjoyed this for the simplicity of the the idea. Many times, I've decided not to tweet something for various reasons, and at the last minute not sent.

    I think most tweeters will be able to identify with this.

  2. you know, I've tweeted about catapulting sheep, but I can proudly say I've never tweeted about peanut butter expiration dates. I've actually grown rather bored of twitter lately. All the good tweets get drowned out by people retweeting smething I find completely uninteresting. Maybe I need to weed out a few peeps, but then I hate to hurt feelings. Argh! Tweet!

  3. There are many a thing people should not tweet.

    Like when you are brushing your teeth, I don't care.

    If any/all of The Office characters are convening somewhere, that should be tweeted.

    If you find cheap good coffee that should be tweeted.

    I am unaware of anything else.

    Pace and Love,

  4. Should I tweet the number for the fire department?

  5. Tweeting about the fire in the house might not be a good idea when 911 is such a better idea...

  6. Did you have a recent mishap in your home, John? (smiley face)


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