Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Three Year Anniversary Post

The Bathroom Monologues began three years ago this week. Go back to November 17, 2007 and you found me wrapping up my first week, having posted about a dozen microfictions, not knowing what microfiction was, and wondering if anybody would ever read it. Over 32,000 hits later, I want to thank you all for joining me in this wacky journey. I've told some weird stories, some of them true, like my struggle to write at all and then with writing too much, packing the 20th century into ten words, and a rant that could only be called Bea Arthur: A Novel.

But fiction is my love. A boy with an invisible dance partner, nine origin stories for somebody who sounds familiar, Poker Night of the Gods, a conversation without words, King Kong smacktalking Godzilla, shark-flavored beverages, the advertising feud between New York and California, the gardener of clouds, the explanation of why bulldozers make the best pets, Homer complaining about having to invent literature... it's been fun, sharing something every single day for years.

In celebration we're doing a little contest. Name your recent or all-time favorite Bathroom Monologue in the Comments section of this post to enter. The winner will be chosen at random, and two things will come of it. I'll record any one of your flash fiction or a blog post of similar length, no matter the material or how embarrassing it is. Maybe better if it is embarrassing. I'll also republish your favorite Bathroom Monologue with its own audio treatment on Thanksgiving Day. Well, U.S. Thanksgiving. I'll publish it on Canadian Thanksgiving only if you have a time machine you're willing to lend out.

I hope you've enjoyed it and will stick around. It's not ending any time soon. This ride has taken me to my first semi-pro and pro-rate publications, and nominations for Dzanc Books' Best of the Web and most recently the Pushcart Prize. I've met so many friendly and talented writers through communities like #fridayflash. Thanks again, everyone, for all the support.


  1. Hmmm, hard to pick a favourite because so many of your monologues make me laugh out loud. I think the one that stands out most is the People are worse than Clowns one. That spoke to me.

  2. Congrats John, Time for a big flush!

    My absolute favorite is: shoot you in the head, 2 for a dollar. outrageous. All good things.

  3. Three years of solid writing – amazing. Just now I went hopping back through your archives and I'm amazed how much great stuff you have - even more amazed that some of it, some really, really good stuff, doesn't have a comment, (Some day I may go back and keep some of that lonely stuff company.)
    I was actually looking for my first comment on your blog. After some searching, I think it was Anyone Can Do Malaise on January 6, 2010, which was a few weeks before I tried my first fridayflash. As I recall I just kind of happened by your blog; I think I found it by hitting "Next Blog" and I was bowled over by your writing and your intelligence and your wit. You were among the first people I ever followed. Congratulations on three years, John. You are a talented writer and I sincerely hope your writing takes you to all the places you want to go in life.

  4. Happy Birthday, Bathroom Monologues! I'm a recent convert, but the Kool-Aid took effect with the first sip. I love your blog, John. Thanks for sharing your fiction and non with us everyday.

    One of my many faves is the boy who wants to kill his mom and the dad's bizarre logic in talking him out of it.

  5. Choose a fav? Are you kidding? Anyway, I can't find where it is, but you wrote a certain pirate story about being marooned that tickled my fancy. It was earlier in the year. I also liked your troll/ogre (for obvious reasons). Fun idea, J. Congrats on the consistency, the sales, and nomination. You've got smething special going on here.

  6. Haha..I just read Mike S.'s comment. Flush!

  7. Congrats on so many good things happening!
    Pick a favorite? Are you kidding? You're such a prolific writer on so many different levels... I'll say that my most recent 'favorite' was "Verified."

  8. I couldn't pick a favorite one, so I picked five...


    Heh, yeah!

    Here they are!

    Same Story Different Monologue

    Beats a Neon Sign

    Eventually, you get to do a 'Long Ago'

    We've all been Student #4

    Redefining Ignorance

  9. My God, John, there are so many great Bathroom Monologues to choose from. One that comes to mind that had me in stitches was the story 'A Still Moment' from Nov 5 of this year. So many layers of deviousness in that little town.

    Congrats on the Pushcart nomination, BTW! I'm really happy for you.

  10. Happy 3 year anniversary! It's amazing to see how much you've written here, and that you continue to post daily even after 3 years. :) Looking forward to more!

    It's hard to pick a favorite. The Invincible and The Endless is one of mine. Short and sweet but to the point.

  11. I haven't scratched the surface reading what you've compiled over these three years. The Possible Origins Of Him are all very good. Your recent #friday flash, A Still Moment is insanely good and I'm sure the thousand days preceeding these are scatter-shot with similarly killer pieces. So, after a half-assed skim and an eenie meenie miney moe, People Want Dark Fiction gets my vote.

    Congratulations on three years of satisfying BMs J.W.!

  12. Oh no, I'll have none of that shit today.

  13. Uh-oh. I might have to revise my vote. I just read the California vs New York bit (all of them) and was laughing my ass off. As a Southern California resident it was especially hilarious.

  14. My favorite was the one about the guy trying to help his roommate because he'd turned into a vampire. That made me laugh til I cried. It also made me realize that you and I were cut from the same slightly warped cloth. Write on, brother in macabre weirdness.

  15. Hate to pick such a recent one, but I have to go with "She Danced":

    There was also a really good one about the guy not able to find anyone to joke about him dying with, but I can't seem to track it down.

  16. Congratulations John! You really have built an incredible career in these past three years, and are very deserving of all the awards granted.

    Choose just one favorite from three years? Wow, that's quite a chore. It may simply be because it's fresh in my mind, but, if I can pick only one, "Don't Even Have a Name" is my favorite. Your monologues are so well written, with incredible depth, and that one really stands out to me.

    Now, where's the wine? ;)

  17. Woo hoo on the pushcart nomination! What story?

    I'm with everybody else. Hard to choose, but I'm a sucker for giant monsters, so I'm gonna go with
    "Dear Diary" from sept of 2008-- The one signed:
    Sincerely, Cosmic Monster
    That one killed me.

    Happy Anniversary!

  18. Many congrats John, for the three year anniversary, and the award nominations!

    I was going to say that I can't choose between so many good pieces, but then I saw Jodi's comment and, duh, of course the ogre/troll is the best one. Evil Kratan just kicked me in the butt for forgetting. Ouch.

    Thanks Jodi! Kutril says hi.

  19. Love all of them, but particularly Possible Origins for Him 5.

  20. Happy anniversary, John. I love this weeks #fridayflash. It had me cracking up. But it's so logical. Glad you're all prepared for the vampiropalypse...but what about zombigeddon?

  21. There have been many that I loved but I'm going to have to go with No Militaries In the Gay. Terrific satire and social commentary. I'm proud to have it included in the BOFF.


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