Monday, December 13, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: What if Santa Claus became The Pope? (The Tweets)

 -Pope Claus promises presents if Nuclear Nations disarm their missiles.

-Vatican denies "elf slave trade."

-Obama, Claus to share milk, cookies at Camp David.

-Pope Claus takes stand on priest abuse scandals: "I know which ones are naughty."

-Child to meet with Pope over coal-giving transgressions. "We hope to put hard feelings behind us."
-"Vatican relocates to North Pole. Michelangelo commissioned to recreate Sistine Chapel ceiling in igloo."

-Dalai Lama: The Pope's flying sleigh is "pretty sweet."

-ACLU worried about "pope impersonators" on public property. "Sitting on his lap is fun for your child, but offensive to others."

-Pope OK's violent videogames for "some children." "Just check the list twice."

-Lesson in Forgiveness: Pope says reconciliation can get "anyone off the list."

-"What About Mrs. Claus?" Catholic Church questioned about chastity.

-Pope to appear on Oprah. "We'll see who can hide better stuff under their chairs."


  1. Pope Claus concedes use of condoms, "nice" not naughty.

    Pope Claus gives red shoes contract to Gucci. Sticks with elves on suit.

    Rudolph named Cardinal for life by PC.

    Mommies everywhere seen kissing Pope underneath mistletoe.

    Very, very funny John had to join in...

  2. Now that's what I call Holiday spirit! I feel all Christmassy now. Thanks John. :)

  3. Hahaha! Funny John, you to MJS!

  4. Hehehe....the ACLU, Mrs. Clause, & Oprah are my faves. smiley face

  5. Trying hard not to laugh during a staff meeting at school while reading this. And it's a Catholic school. Even funnier.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  6. Danielle:
    Visit: and become better informed about Santa Claus and the Pope.
    The Rt. Rev. Santa Claus, OAC
    Twitter: SantaClausUSA


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