Friday, May 20, 2011

Bathroom Monologues: Possible Origins for Him. 14.

 
I don’t expect you to believe it. You haven’t believed anything I’ve said, have you? But it’s all his idea. It’s always been his idea. I think he wanted a me even before he invented one.

My wife was the most patient woman alive. She put up with every failed career choice I ever set my heart on, even the stand-up stuff. I’d do anything for her. But overtime wasn’t making the bills for the two of us, so when she said there was a kid on the way? Couldn’t turn down any opportunities. Fell in with a group of hoods. We were robbing chemical plants, selling patented secrets off to the Scarecrow or LutherCorp or whatever.

He came down on us like black rain. Broke a guy’s jaw. Tossed the ringleader off a scaffold. Kicked me in the solar plexus, knocked the wind out of me and sent me into a bubbling vat. If I’d been able to breathe, it’d probably have killed me to suck that stuff in.

Instead he dragged me out by my ankles. Dumped lye on my face to counteract the acids. Even though he was saving my life, I was begging him not to kill me – “Have mercy, I’ve got a kid on the way.”

Come to think of it, I’ve never seen him kill someone directly. That rule about him might be true. He doesn’t like to murder. He likes to use you.

While I was crying into a mirror, he made me the offer. This hair. This skin. I was perfect to play a monster. Play a mobster. Terrorize the public, kill as many corrupt officials as I could until he showed up. Then go down in one punch.

I did it. Pretending to be insane to stay in the asylum was the hardest part. Whenever the doctors started to catch on, I had to make up a new story to throw them. Pharmacist-gone-terrorist. Avenging a slain circus act. Taking inspiration from other costumed killers. Eventually I even believed a few of my stories. That’s when I thought I was going mad. The company you keep in there will do it for you.

Two months later, he planted the explosives and key cards. I looked like a genius escape artist. Found psychotropic laughing gas and directions to City Hall stashed a mile ahead, in this makeshift cave hideout he built just for me.

The routine came on quickly. He embellished it more with every breakout.

“Claim you poisoned all these fish.”

“Hijack this freighter.”

“Challenge me from on top of this skyscraper.”

And always, the order to do something increasingly stupid when he arrived, get caught, go down. Do not collect two hundred dollars, go directly to Arkham. Abide for the next breakout. Read the occasional paper praising him as the dark knight, protecting his city from unimaginable fiends.

I never saw a dime. He pays a perpetually inflating sum per breakout through a phony life insurance policy. It goes to a single mother in Gotham Harbor. A widow. Apparently her husband was a night watchman and got killed one night on duty. Thugs didn’t even leave a body for them to bury. Poor woman went into labor when she heard, and suffered the doubly poor fate of giving birth to baby boy with cystic fibrosis. If he’s going to live any sort of life then he needs intense care, and it’s so expensive.

38 comments:

  1. Ooh..I love this theory. The Bat did it! What we won't do for our kids. Very nicely done, Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree, verynicely done, John. And the 'voice' is truly convincing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved listening to you read it as I read along. Great story I agree with the two comments above me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Danielle, glad it passed your test, Danni! We were worried about the verdict.

    Deb, so you think this is the true Origin?

    Helen, what did you make of the ending, if you didn't read faster than my voice did?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very clever take on the Super Hero. You left me loving, hating and caring. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Claim you poisoned all these fish." Def my favorite Possible Origin for him to date!

    ReplyDelete
  7. The next thing we'll find out is that bruce Wayne was creating and selling toxic credit default swaps to pay for his superhero stuff :)

    Interesting perspective and great voice.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yup, this is one of the best "Possible Origins" to date!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tony and Mr. FAR, thank you for the praise, but what leads you to say it's the best? I'm very curious.

    Deborah, did I actually get you to hate Batman?

    Jodi, big fan of the smiling tuna?

    Michael, I'm sure WayneCorp has done some shady things in the past. What happened to that Tumbler project of theirs?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree, I liked this one the best as well. I think it's because we see him scared, pathetic, loving. Here he's a victim, but everyone glorifies the other guy.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like how you've fudged the concepts of hero and villain - they've both become more human in this piece.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really like this one because it not only opens up Joker's background to untold complexities, but also Batman's. Even better, it does so not just back up to the point of Joker's origin, but long before and long after Bruce drew on the cowl.

    Plus, this forces you to wonder if Batman isn't fronting some of the other biggies. I mean, how the hell would Penguin get anywhere without a covert deal to prop him up as a straw man? Unlike previous "Origins Of Him", which call into question the Joker's origin, this story calls into question the origins of all of the villains.

    If forces a global shift in perspective, and that's why I think it's the best.

    ReplyDelete
  13. T.S., interesting. So you view him being scared qualifying it for the best of the origins? His previous irreverences, malices, hatreds or strengths pale in your eyes in comparison to a weakness?

    Also, I removed your double post after you cleared it. I hope that's okay. Figured it would just clean things up a little.

    Mark, even if he's lying this time, the fella does have a habit of hating his primary target. He does most of the fudging of lines for me.

    Tony, thank you for returning to clarify. I'm glad you enjoyed how much doubt (or light) he tosses on Batsy's beginnings. This fella definitely suspects other rogues are being funded from on high.

    I'm also curious how folks felt about him after they listened to the recording.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, very well done. What people do for their kids, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yeah thanks for removing it! No, it doesn't make up for his follies, but creates the most well rounded version of 'him' yet. I bought into his view of life completely - however wrong and flawed it was. Strong character voice helped seal the deal too.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Totally agree that this adds a new dimension to the characters. This series continues to be fresh. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Reminds me a bit of Hush Returns, in a way, but at the same time, it's all too plausible. After all, Batman HAS to be as insane as the Joker, so why wouldn't he be the one behind all the schemes?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think I much prefer this Batman with his shady dealings than the goody-goody image usually associated with him, baddies are far more interesting than goodies.

    ReplyDelete
  19. The voice carried me along and had me believing, sorta.

    Denise<3

    http://flashquake.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sonia, a child is a mighty motivation, sometimes even for massacre.

    T.S., I can understand that. For most of these he's deliberately put forth an image he wants seen. Though I do wonder how many readers and listeners suspected his vulnerability was also what he wanted seen.

    Matt, thank you kindly. I have at least one fresh one left in the can. Then I need to check the garage.

    Icy, I'll admit I may not have read Hush Returns. Is it that Hush was funding villains again, or...?

    Steve, Batman hasn't been depicted as goody-goody in most mediums for a few years now, but Joker's never liked him much.

    Denise, did you listen or pick up the voice from the prose?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi John to answer your question, the ending left me with mixed feelings for the superhero was he all that bad? Yet I felt sorry for the other character too. It seems that love, guilt or whatever drives one towards what they feel they should do.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I really like this one for the dual nature that others have pointed out: his origins while also raising questions about the hero's integrity.

    I don't think it made me sympathize with him, though. Maybe I'm too skeptical, but I kind of felt like it was just another lie being told by a lifetime crook. (Him, not you.) :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. You've outdone yourself in this one, Mr. Ogre. *hats off*

    Also, the voice is quite different from all other origins so far. I'm impressed with your narrating abilities!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ps John, re reading my second comment I realised that by saying other character could be misunderstood and I meant by that dual personality.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love the voice in this. Truly a different view of the bat. Deliciously sinister.

    ReplyDelete
  26. It explains so much! The constant escapes from arkham, him just putting him back in there after ever escape, the quick and easy way he catches him every time- all makes perfect sense in this context. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Helen, it's quite possible that the hero isn't bad at all. Though if you mean the narrator himself, it's all about what you believe in what he says.

    Chuck, your skepticism is warranted. He has about thirteen other stories that aren't so sympathetic!

    Mari and Laura, this recording was more of a Frank Muller caricature. I tried to keep him understated. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    Raven, thanks!

    Bev, so you think this is the true one?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Self-serving bat! If he didn't have the criminal masterminds to fight, he'd be out of business. It's like being a fire fighter with a slight touch of arson in his blood. A nice twist to the legend, John.

    ReplyDelete
  29. It's always the rich guys after all, isn't it?

    Wonderfully twisted origin tale and, like others, I love the voice in this.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Your writing just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Keep. Going.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Stephen, would firefighters who feared for their fame start fires? How would the fires feel about that?

    KjM, pretty easy to blame the wealthy for anything in this climate. Now does that leave you skeptical of our narrator, or...?

    Lou, you bet I will. This week I hope to wrap up the rough draft of a hulking novel. Only death or severe disability will stay my pen and keyboard anytime soon.

    ReplyDelete
  32. There is this interesting yin/yang dichotomy between the two characters; one neither solely good or solely evil, but a little of each to create a delicate balance. Fascinating.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    ReplyDelete
  33. Do you think his adversary is looking to achieve some sort of balance, Adam?

    ReplyDelete
  34. I like the veiled hints to some of the previous origins. He's got a nasty habit of making the other guy sound like he's the evil one.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Twist and shake it up! Who is Batman really.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Your writing here is so creepy anyway, but your reading is positively chilling! I adore your voice.

    ReplyDelete

Counter est. March 2, 2008