Friday, July 15, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Reaching For

This story has been redacted pending possible publication!

42 comments:

  1. That must have been a short astronomer. They should have been able to reach it together.

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  2. space works however the ogre wants it to work :)

    Cute story and really highlights your versatility.

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  3. I love the characters in this, they really swing the story along.

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  4. This ... the perfect story on the night I watched 'Shrek Forever After' with the little one... You delivered again, John ...

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  5. Loved it, especially the rabbit on the moon reaching out to the squirrel. I was thinking this would make a great animated short!

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  6. You slay me with your humour, Mr. Wiswell. You should be writing fiction.

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  7. I was going to say something like: this would be perfect for a kids picture book, and then the ogre ate the astronomer!

    I loved it:)

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  8. The ogre sounded especially condescending since he so rarely got to try it.

    ...only escaping because the ogre’s mouth was full of astronomer.

    These are two perfect examples of the whimsy that make you're writing such a treat to read.

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  9. Tim, you know a lot of tall astronomers? I was imagining about Neil deGrasse Tyson-height. Though he claims astrophysics rather than mere astronomy.

    Michael, I do like to change it up. Next week's will be radicall different. Thank you for your kind words.

    Deb, so the anthropomorphic boulder wasn't too much?

    Anthony, ha! Yeah, I can see those all working together quite nicely. Glad for the incidental serendipitous endorsement.

    Foregone and Anne, if there are any big publishers out there who'd like to make me rich turning this into a book or cartoon, please, reach!

    Alan, I didn't know I wasn't writing fiction. Have all these imp and satyr battles actually happened?

    Laurita, I did get to have some fun with the ogre. This sort of semi-passive writing has so many opportunities for great humor.

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  10. This is probably the most charming thing I have ever read about an ogre. And I LOVE the squirrel.. so glad he didn't get eaten.
    You know how people write LOL for laughing out loud? I was smiling out loud most of the way through this. Charming, charming work!

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  11. I agree John, this would make a great animated short. I could easily see them reaching and grunting. Wonderfully delightful little tale!

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  12. See? That's what astronomers get for trying to explain the facts...
    Gotta love the tenacity of that squirrel though. ;) Love your humor, John!

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  13. A most excellent fairy tale! I'll have to save this for when Mason's just a little older.

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  14. boulder:

    "Well could I have a couple of minutes with her first?”

    *giggling and giggling*

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  15. The scene you created with everyone piled on to of everyone, very comical. I liked how everyone had their own idea of what the moon was and what it could do for them. Great start to my Friday!

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  16. I think this is the cutest thing you've ever written and it made very happy. Thank you.

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  17. such a cute story! it was the perfect antidote for a crappy morning

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  18. "I’ve always admired her rounditude" Oh, that made me laugh! Lots of whimsy here. I wonder if astronomers taste better than squirrels...

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  19. Charming story with lively descriptions of a cast of characters. I never thought about the moon reaching for us, suppose it/she/they should. Left me thinking, hm.

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  20. Cathy, smiling out loud, you say? I'll take that as an achievement. Thanks!

    Deanna, again, funding! I am all ears.

    Laura, science has its place. That place is one hundred meters away from an ogre's fun and games.

    Mr. FAR, yeah I guess the implied sexual jokes and the homicide at the end do require a tiny bit of aging in the audience...

    Karen, a boulder's got to get its rocks off somehow, you know.

    Lara, the moon can be a talisman like that. If can be a god, or the home of a bunny or person to so many cultures, why not the object of many fantasy critter's desires?

    Bev, quite happy to please. You're welcome!

    Sonia, did it help your morning any?

    T.S., it was good to get into an utterly different writing scape than anything else I was working on and reading. The change is essential to keeping the mind limber. Glad you liked it!

    Shopgirl, only problem is what the occupants of the moon want with us. If they're hungry, our squirrels could be in trouble.

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  21. Y'see John, I knew there was more to that rabbit in the moon than meets the eye.

    I think the squirrel has a wicked sense of humour too.

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  22. One of the most creative piece of fiction I've read in a long time!

    My favourite one of yours so far!

    I loved how there was 2nd team of creatures trying to reach the Earth.

    "When her squeaks became suitably annoying, the ogre tried throwing her at the moon. She missed." - My favourite bit.

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  23. That was a lot of fun, feel sorry for the astronomer though!

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  24. This is a truly wonderful, "whatever those goofy things are where an ogre threatens to eat an astrophysicist."

    Really top notch John, funny and fable-ous!

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  25. Very Grimm--ogre, squirrel, rabbit. Out of all of them I'm glad the ogre ate the scientist--supposedly the higher life form. I caught your 'short' joke in there. You never disappoint.

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  26. Steve, I don't trust anything I see in the moon. If it's there, it could well be out to get me.

    Craig, thanks for the excited response! Glad you got so much joy out of me going fantastical. I really ought to do this more often.

    Virginia, guy should have thought to withhold his opinions around carnivores. It's a cardinal mistake that leads to the eating of thousands of cardinals per year.

    Harry, well, what would you call this? A fairy tale? A myth? General absurdism?

    Susan, I am wee folk, at least when surrounded by my titanic friends.

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  27. Lilly, 7, said she liked when the squirrel wasn't making a noise. She didn't like when the ogre said I could eat you.
    Jackson,5, liked when the ogre wanted to eat the squirrel.
    Judge, 30, enjoyed reading it to his children.

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  28. There was something a little "Pixar" about the concept of this.

    One typo in the second paragraph - "he hill" for "the hill".

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  29. Loved it! Very Aesop's Fables of you. I'm sure there's a moral in there somewhere.

    Love the idea of the moon creatures reaching back for us.

    Stacey

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  30. Judge, that's one of my favorite comments of the year. You read it to your kids? Really, I'm touched. Hope they weren't boggled by any of the mildly lascivious or violent bits.

    Icy, thanks for catching my typo!

    Spot, it's actually one of a plethora of stories for a world I've been building for years. It's a lot of fun to spin tall tales.

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  31. When I was a child, I "devoured" every fairy tale I could get my hands on. I'm pretty sure I read every one that had been written, to that point. It was so much fun to read a brand new one! Now I'm going outside to look for an ogre and a squirrel. Together, we can reach the moon; I'm sure of it!

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  32. Aww so cute! Ogres must get very hungry to eat such a diverse diet :( Glad the squirrel got away though. :)

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  33. Fun! I like how this slightly turns into a romance when the boulder joins the fun.

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  34. Love the characters in this. Good fun.

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  35. "I've always admired her rounditude"
    This is a stand out line which encapsulates the brand of humour you have crafted here. I love this story and will chuckle all day at your genius word-smithing. Love the squirrel, esp. its disguise and futile efforts at escape.

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  36. Thanks for the chuckle; I enjoyed this a lot. :)

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  37. Charming! I love the way you pack various things into one story. It's great for the humor alone, but the part about having the moon creatures reaching back added an extra layer to the story.

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  38. Squirrels are never up to anything good. A pleasant change of pace for you, John. I enjoyed the large cast of characters.

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  39. Zelda, fairy tales and myths make up many of our greatest stories. I love playing in that field. It's well worth the admiration.

    Helen, we can be ravenous. It's hard work suppressing such an appetite.

    Aidan, if rocks can fall in love at first sight, I imagine the moon is very popular. The Marilyn Monroe of minerals.

    Rebecca and Anke, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by.

    Scribbler, my gross invention of an unnecessary word was the highlight? I really can't argue that. "Rounditude" is just so fun to imagine.

    Chuck, most of the things just stacked so naturally. The themes of children's stories and absurdism can allow you to put in almost anything you like.

    Stephen, always got to change things. Almost went with something far too serious for an already melodramatic Friday.

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  40. I read this yesterday but work intruded again and I couldn't comment.
    Back today to say I enjoyed this. The opening hooked me; squirrels do make annoying noises. And the ogre practicing being condescending was priceless.

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  41. Crazy squirrel. But all squirrels are crazy.

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  42. Depth and detail, John, are your hallmarks. Always a pleasure to read. Is there a layer of allegory within?
    Adam B @revhappiness

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