Sunday, March 4, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Alternative Ending to Little Red Riding Hood

One upon a time there was a little girl named Little Red Riding Hood whose grandmother was kind of sick. Her mother sent the girl to her grandmother’s house with a basket of food and medicine. Wanting to be over with it as soon as possible, and so took a shortcut through a woods that was clearly marked as a wildlife preserve.

On her way through, a wolf stopped her. He complimented, “What a big basket of goodies you have.”

“I wish they were for me,” she said.

“Where are you taking them?”

“My grandma’s house.”

“That's nice of you. Is it far?”

“About half an hour. Why?”

And so he ate her right there. True story.


  1. And in another alternate ending, they never even conversed. The wolf just gobbled her up...
    Your version has more commercial appeal, though, John.

  2. I feel sure that there were things in the basket of goodies to help Little Red Riding Hood go down even more smoothly. Some pickles perhaps, and certainly a pie for dessert.

  3. That's valid. I mean, why waste half an hour following her? ;-)
    Nice one, John, love it!


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