Monday, July 30, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Real News

“No news anchor has ever been off television for three years and returned. If you terminate me, you’re right that the three-year non-compete clause will kill my television career. You’re wrong that I won’t be able to hit back, though.

“I get paid enough to have lawyers who have parsed this clause, and there is nothing preventing me from going to Youtube and ripping you apart. More people watch a funny cat video than your leading sitcom. Now, this won’t hit with the internet-illiterate part of our audience, but it will poison the 18-25 demo your advertisers are terrified about. If you think I can’t get an audience, you’ve never seen a famous person go inflammatory online before.

“I can take my claims to the NY Times Op-Ed and The Huffington Post, and my exit will be the top story on every other network, but that’ll be a blip in a promotional tour. The book I write about you will sell more copies for every move you try to make to discredit it, and it will go digital-first, with links and social networks that will draw anyone with a Kindle or iPad to new media. Don’t be surprised if Facebook signs me as their first anchor for their first exclusive on-site programming, where I will get to cover any story I want. If that comes to pass, I sincerely hope that I get to cover your resignation from this network.”


  1. Glad I don't produce a TV news show...

  2. This post was complete for me when I saw the "Aaron Sorkin" label.

  3. I can totally see this happening.

    After I heard about NBC's 1980s style coverage of the Olympics, I started wondering what it would be like if in 2016 the official Olympics broadcaster is somehing like YouTube. Radio has broadened over the internet (my favourite stations are in the UK and Austria), but TV doesn't seem to be fitting in as gracefully.

  4. That "Rudy" moment in the last episode almost made me cry.

  5. Oh god, I wish he'd said this. I love the newsroom.



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