Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bathroom Diagram: Why Sharks Are Perfect

Everyone should do their duty to expose science to the masses. Recently it was addressed that I haven't done my part, and so I'm taking this Sunday to explain a fine principle of marine biology. The following is an educational diagram for why sharks are just about perfect.


If you require a deeper argument, consider: it constantly swims towards A) eating or B) making little sharks. As you can plainly see, the shark is as close to an eating-things tube as it gets without turning into a worm. And no one thinks worms are cooler than sharks.

7 comments:

  1. Hi there John -- reviewing this excellent diagram of shark physiology, I did notice the presence of the unlabelled dorsal fin. Does this 'makes it swim upright'? St.

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  2. Science has yet to determine what that fin does. The leading hypothesis is "makes it swim yet more."

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    1. I am humbled by your knowledge of these Selachimorpha. I applaud you, sir. St.

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  3. I don't know whether I should applaud sharks or you. So I will do both.

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  4. Can you confirm or deny rumours that dolphins are in fact gay sharks?

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    1. I'm happy to deny that claim. Dolphins are, in fact, worse than sharks, and thus cannot be any version of sharks.

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  5. You forgot to circle a part of the flank and label it "makes it tasty". Barbecued shark steaks, mmmm... I don't care if my friends say I'm a cannibal for liking them, they're great. Also nice in bouilliabasse.

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