Saturday, August 3, 2013

Bathroom Monologue: Character Sheet for Nigel Poshington



Name: Nigel Poshington

Character portrait:
"I'm not consenting to this photograph, I'll sue you if it shows up on the web."

Occupation:
C.E.O.

Religion:
DOWism

Alignment:
Lawful Evil

Gender:
"Do you have anything bolder than 'Male'? Something that pops?"

Hit Points:
"Touch me and I'll sue for every farthing in that stupid dragon hoard."

STATS
Str: 2
Con: 2
Dex: 2
Int: 4
Wis: 3
Char: 14

Inventory:
Cane, briefcase, Blackberry (can summon Short Stocks three times per day), bills for commodities x5.

Class Perks:
Plausible Deniability, Golden Parachute, Insider Trading (always has Initiative).

Special Abilities:
Inspirational speech that none of the employees actually find inspirational; once per day can call his "friends" in the government to bail him out.

7 comments:

  1. Not sure I'd want him in my D&D party.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll put him on point. The orcs would probably call him "Boss."

    ReplyDelete
  3. And he has escaped D & D and has found a home on our newspapers, television, radio... And I agree wholeheartedly about his 'inspirational' speeches.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a little relieved there isn't a demand for me to write his entire party.

      Delete
  4. This got a belly laugh. Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like his answer for gender. LOL!

    ReplyDelete

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