Bathroom Monologue: Deep Blue, the Master Chess Computer, VS. Timmy Wilkins, who passed Third Grade in two tries

Deep Blue: King's pawn to e4
Timmy: Queen's pawn to e5
Deep Blue: King's knight to f4
Timmy: Queen's knight to c6
Deep Blue: King's bishop to b5
Timmy: Optimus Prime to a4, a5, a6, b4, b5, b6; King's bishop captured

[Deep Blue is consulting the rules.]

Deep Blue: King castles with King's rook
Timmy: Optimus Prime fires missiles: Kings pawn and King's knight obliterated
Deep Blue: King's rook to e1
Timmy: The Dead Men of Dunharrow have appear along a3, b3, c3, d3, e3, f3, g3 and h3

[Deep Blue is consulting the rules.]

Deep Blue: Queen's knight to c3. Queen's bishop's Dunharrow Warrior has been captured.

[Deep Blue is consulting the rules.]

Timmy: Queen's knight's Dunharrow Warrior to c3. Queen's knight captured.
Deep Blue: Deep Blue suggests that the Dead Men of Dunharrow have fulfilled their oath.
Referee: The time for Deep Blue's turn is expired.
Timmy: The Dead Men of Dunharrow have left the board.

[Timmy is consulting the rules.]

Referee: The time for Timmy's turn is expired.
Deep Blue: Queen to d2.
Timmy: Optimus Prime fires missiles. Spring mechanism jammed.
Referee: The time for Timmy's turn is expired.
Deep Blue: Queen to b4. Optimus Prime has sustained significant damage and tipped over.
Timmy: Optimus Prime delivers monologue and uses Autobot matrix. All of Deep Blue's remaining pieces have been captured.

[Deep Blue is consulting Toys 'R Us.]