Thursday, January 17, 2008

Waiting to Talk to the Fourth Straight Operator in the Same Hospital Monologue

The Fodati were a very enterprising species. They were very good navigators, they were very good pilots, and they were very good shots; which meant, they were very good conquerors. They ruled almost half a continent under a bureaucratic fist, with three archipelagos on the side, like change in their purses. Soon everything had its own office: the Office Conquering, the Office of Strip-mining, the Office of Cultural Dismemberment, the Office of Re-Education, and the Department of 'No, You Can't.' Nobody could even get his hands on the paperwork to begin an insurrection. Soon the Fodati even sold shares in government, which paid the best dividends in the land for five generations. Then they went extinct. It was a cunning new form of influenza, dubbed the "Orson W. Strain," named for the first Fodat to sneeze it out. The extinction was brutal, but only half as brutal as what the Fodati did next. Only ten years after their extinction they bought up all the common stock available, giving them 51% ownership over Hell. This quarter's financial report suggests that service in the inferno will not change dramatically, but it will be streamlined.

1 comment:

  1. I laughed out loud on the last line of this one. I love it. God, that's funny.
    (I'm so happy you post so often! It always improves my day.)


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