‘Q’ is for ‘Question,’ and the most common question asked
is, “What was the first apocalypse to hit this world? What started it?”
There’s a myth about that. Nowadays it’s impossible to
imagine the world without apocalypses. The gremlins thought it was their turn,
built automatons to do all the heavy lifting for their empire, and the autos
turned on them. An electrical storm reduced the autos to blank statues. The
dead rise. The bourgeoisies rise. It’s as natural as seasonal cycles. Yet if
you consult the oral legends of the oldest races, the centaurs and the
nine-legs, and the remaining records of the gremlins, you find common
references to a First Apocalypse.
All land that we now is actually the decomposed shell of the
World Turtle, which once swam either among the stars or in what today we call
the World-Ocean. A big son-of-a-something, and healthy, such that all the
world’s plants grew from its shell. Since it was green, most of the flora were
forests. Thick jungles that consumed lumbering beasts, toughening the sauropods
and cyclopes, so that all life was hardy, ruled under the Four Gods.
And there were gods, captains of this Great Ship World
Turtle. One would wander down to its slippery head and whisper, “I feel like
inventing ‘East’ today. Find a new direction and name it that.” And it would
comply, because turtles are prone to peer pressure.
So one day the Goddess of the Sky climbed down the World
Turtle’s neck and whispered, “You notice that yellow thing up there that makes
days possible? Swim over to that. I want to know what it tastes like.”
Then she climbed up to the highest point on the World
Turtle’s shell for the best view of the sun. But while she mounted, the God of
the Depths climbed down the World Turtle’s neck. He whispered, “That nasty
thing’s hot. How about we dive? See what’s under these infinite waters?”
Then he scampered off to the apex of the shell, expecting to
get the best view of his desires. Yet as he ascended, the Goddess of Mystery
rode the rivers between the plates of the World Turtle’s shell down to its ear.
She cupped its beak and whispered, “Why did we ever start going forward? We
never saw all of what was at the beginning of creation. Can’t you go backwards
for just a few eons so we can appreciate what’s back there?”
To the World Turtle’s credit, it began to dip under the
waves while it about-faced, conceding to two demands at once. Upturning so
dumped a thousand sauropods into the surf and enraged the God of Boldness, who
had been teaching them beach sports. He tumbled down the World Turtle’s slope,
jabbing a javelin into its scalp to hold on. “What do you think you’re doing?”
he chastised. “We’re making headway. We might see where creation ends if you
just kept the bearing. We need to find what else is out there.”
The Goddess of Mystery hadn’t yet departed, and so contested
his virtue. Their argument whirled into a tempest, the ferocity of which was
only split when the Goddess of Sky and God of the Depths coming roaring down at
each other. The desires of the four were irreconcilable, and none were willing
to go second. They argued for so long that some of the lesser critters had to
develop free will just to go on living, and they would have kept going forever
if the World Turtle hadn’t stopped. Its continental body drifted, listless,
unable to obey so many commands.
The Four Gods quit its head, unable to argue the World
Turtle into submission with three dissenters. After it became obvious none
could coerce each other, they split separate ways. That’s why none of them had
alibis.
Tragedy struck at dusk. Jungles suddenly wilted to
nothingness. The continental shell cracked and powdered into soil. Countless
species died from the sudden shock of the modern world being born. Mortals
rushed to the great head and found it dangling under the waves. Someone had
drowned the World Turtle.
There were only four capable of such feats, though no one
saw which God did the deed. Sky accused Depth, Depth accused Mystery, Mystery
suspected Boldness, and Boldness pointed fingers at them all. They dragged each
other to Celestial Court
and have spent all known history simultaneously arguing four homicide cases. It
is very difficult to out-argue someone who is nigh-omniscient and exists
outside time; more difficult still to reconcile four such people who are all
intentionally playing obtuse for argument’s sake.
And while we wait the eternity for the verdict, everyone has
ignored the very possible fifth cause: the World Turtle may have drowned itself
in the strife of indecision, or to rid itself of the godly masters. It can’t be
asked, though, and that first dusk was a confounding one for the cyclopes and
sauropods. There was all beloved life, drifting on a dead turtle, with no
supervision from the Gods, and mildly curious how their fellow surviving
life-forms tasted. It’s small wonder things went wrong after that.