Bathroom Monologue: "No Pets Allowed (except those assisting handicapped persons)" -Door at Roanoke Regional Airport, Virginia

It took time a long time to build the custom glass tank, and still longer to properly train the maco shark to operate it. His wife wasn’t happy to see her blind husband led around by a shark in a gas-powered tank, but Tim was insistent. Maco (Tim wasn’t creative with names) directed the device by swimming nearer towards one of eight directional zones in the tank, which worked in wide-open spaces, but still had some kinks with doorways. He rationalized that it did get through the door (even if it demolished it), and he hadn’t been mugged once since submitting himself to the guidance of the land shark. As a bonus, Tim didn’t have to walk around, dragged by some seeing-eye mutt, but could catch a ride on one of the tank’s bumpers, so long as he held onto the rail and not the edge of the tank. Maco was loyal, but she was also a nibbler.