Bathroom Monologue: Dear Godzilla

I’m not afraid of you, you giant lizard. Dinosaurs went extinct for a reason. You’re the last of a dead breed and it’s up to me to finish the job. My ancestors survived the KT impact. You think a little radiation scares me? I’m a giant fucking gorilla. I probably have uranium in my morning cereal. You’re so big? You think that scares me? Maybe you haven’t been watching the remakes, but I took on three t-rexes at the same time and won with my 21st century ninja skills. It’s not just dinosaurs and savages on my home island, bitch. It’s ninjas. I’m a giant ninja gorilla and mama said knock you out.

For reals,
K.K.