The battle between science and religion raged until a freshman at Cal Tech pointed out that neither was actually a person with opinions nor a thing with physical properties, and that all of the conflicts happened between homo sapiens who were neither science nor religion. Thus far science and religion had been incredibly selfish, allowing third parties to do all the fighting for them.
One of the technical institute’s extracurricular clubs devised a proper competition between the two, writing “Science” on one index card and “Religion” on the other, giving them equal physical representation, then leaving the two on a table top outside the dorms. Whichever was left standing would be considered the victor.
Two hours into the combat a slight breeze flipped Religion upside down, viewed by part of the crowd as a sign of inferiority. However the act of flipping made it land on top of the “Science” card, suggesting its superiority via pinfall to another segment of the crowd. A third segment, composed primarily of people from the Gay/Straight Alliance, considered it kinky.
Fifteen minutes later a second breeze came by and blew both cards into the mud. The contest was ruled a draw by a visiting poetry lecturer. The few people who still cared by then went off to play table tennis. A similar form of conflict resolution will be applied to Star Trek and Star Wars next semester.
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