Friday, January 23, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: So little time

Shrinking is one power I’d never tell anyone I had. Invulnerability or Hulk strength would be made public immediately as I abused the crap out of them, but shrinking? I’d just live a normal life, occasionally crawling into Swedish volleyball lockerrooms and appreciating the view. Every few weekends I’d rent a boxset of DVD’s, buy a tootsie roll, and just live off of the damned thing until Monday morning. The savings I’d have on consumption would be amazing, and do you know how good my surround sound would be at six inches tall? And sometimes I’d randomly abuse it to hide when my manager came through the office or someone was looking for a ride. Maybe even to screw with the secretary at the dentist’s.

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