Bathroom Monologue: “Where do you live again? Copack Lake? Cupcake Lake?” –One friend too many

"Yes, Cupcake Lake. Just off of Candy Cane Lane. The houses are gingerbread and the snow is vanilla frosting. The female deer are made of cookie dough, and the beavers build dams of cinnamon sticks. When I turn on a faucet, out pours ginger ale. When I wipe my feet, I stain the carpet with chocolate dirt. It rains gumdrops and when a diabetic’s mother cries her tears are only salty at first."