Bathroom Monologue: Really lame pun that only works if you pronounce “guards” in an aristocratic British accent

He pulled the princess to his side, guiding her from the wolf cages.

"The guards will protect you from the king's wolves. Spare it no worry."

She eyed the guards at either side of the cages. They looked as mangy as the mutts.

"Yes, but who will protect us from the guards?"

"Don't worry. It's a secular society."