Bathroom Monologue: Stones Get Things Done

I’m not saying glaciers didn’t do work. I’m just saying they didn’t do all of it. During the so-called “ice age” a lot of hard-working mountains were moving, and to more than just Muhammad. You think continents drift on their own? We’re talking tectonic plates, and that means serious bribery. You think an overgrown ice cube is going to pay those landmasses off? No. It was earth doing all the work. Soil going soft or brittle enough to break up easily, rocks getting aligned and pushing, and a heck of a lot of members of the Crust Layer Union. Back before we had reasonable golems, it was a wild planet where you walked uphill to school, then the electromagnetic poles flipped and you had to walk uphill back home. If it was snowing when you did it? That sucked, but that was icing on the difficulty cake. Stones, baby. They get things done.