Thursday, September 9, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: The Task of Waverly Mothers

"Waverly mothers have a task. Others may live meaningless or ambling parenthoods, but Waverly have tact and strong breeding. We survive into the teens of our grandchildren, and that's where the mission comes from. That child will be full of hormones, new hair and the soil of existentialism. A mother's task is to get that child firm early. Teach it what is right and when to stand still. The loss of a grandmother will be the first real death it comes in contact with, and if the Waverly mother has done her job, the child will weather it fine. It will know that death is a part of life we're all guaranteed, and not something to fall apart over. If it falls apart, the mother is failing at her job and needs to catch up. I expect you've been doing right by your young, Darleen. I have faith in you because you didn't crack when your Nana passed, and you should have learned all you needed from that, and me. The doctors say I'll tip over in the next two weeks and we'll know. I hope you're prepared for the consequences."

1 comment:

  1. I am SO glad you did not mention Waverly fathers. Those good for nothing bums have NO place in a civil society. Good only for procreation, beer swilling and yelling at television broadcasts of football games, Waverly fathers or a scourge and would be eradicated if not for the physical needs of Waverly mothers.


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