Friday, October 29, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Possible Origins For Him. 9.

There is an audio edition of today's story. To listen either click the triangle on the left to begin streaming audio or click this text to download the MP3.

“Why are you this way?”

I wake up and can’t move. My forearms catch on something. I try to roll over, and that’s when I notice the straps. Leather restraints around my wrists and ankles, across my knees, chest and forehead.

I’m in a small room, empty. Three walls are white, one with a little window. The fourth wall is all Plexiglas. On the other side are three people in suits and white coats. One is a blonde, two are brunettes. The brunettes are men – that’s what you call a guy with brown hair, right? A brunette? A bruno?

“Why are you this way?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I say. “Can you please come loosen this? I can’t feel my legs.”

They look at their palm pilots and clipboards. They look nervous, like I’ll bite them through the glass.

“How did you access the air conditioning system?”

“Where did you find that many amphetamines?”

“Why did you strangle that orderly to death with a rubber chicken?”

I don’t know what they’re talking about and they won’t listen. My legs tingle. I’m thirsty. There isn’t even a mirror – I don’t remember what I look like. I ask who I am and seconds later they shuffle away. They leave together, like just one of them doesn’t dare stand outside my cell on his own.

Across from my cell is another with a Plexiglas wall. Its inhabitant is a big man. Half of his face is scabs, like he’d laid down on a hot stove and stayed there. I don’t know if that’s true. He tears a button from his cot and keeps flipping it. His bad eye, the one without a lid, stares at me. He’s not restrained. I am. What did I do?

Security walks by often. There’s a camera with a steady red light in one of the corners of my ceiling. It’s not enough. At least one guy comes by ten times that day. Nine times to look. One time he has a newspaper. He presses the front page against my glass. The headline reads: “STATE SEEKS DEATH PENALTY AGAINST INSANE MAN.”

I can’t make out the photo. It looks like a cartoon face. The guard speaks through the glass to me.

“I hope they get you, you sick fuck.”

Night falls through my little window. I feel like I’m not alone and don’t realize for a while that I’m right. There’s a man in a black mask glaring through the pane. We’re however many stories up and he somehow got there. I call for help and nobody comes. I try to smile, to put on an unaggressive face, and he bares his teeth at me. If he could get through the glass I think he’d strangle me.

I blink and he’s gone.

I can’t get up to see if he was really there, and the people who work here won’t help me. It doesn’t matter what I yell. My fellow inmate, the scarred man, wakes up and stares at me with that eye. He calls me a clown and tells me to shut up or he’ll kill me. That’s the only response I get in this world.

Let’s say I’m not an amnesiac. That I just want to stop. To put down my knives and joy buzzers. But everything else is true: the shrinks are terrified of me, the law wishes I was dead, and there are masked faces following me around in the night. What are the choices? Play dead, or be “this way.”

28 comments:

  1. John, this series of stories is fantastic. Every one has shown a keen sense of analysis, a really deep understanding of the characters that allows you to play "what if" with a strange blend of empathy and panache.
    I enjoyed this one especially. I listened to the audio first. Great reading and you totally got me with the effect at the end.

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  2. Can't help feeling that the jokiness of strangling someone to death with a rubber chicken, cuts against the tone of the rest of the piece, as summed up in the potent ending. Whereas the brunette male thing while comic in undertone, does work because it reeks of some libidinous kink in his psyche, feminising these men, or maybe being attracted to them as men, albeit with his dark intent lying behind that.

    Liked in particular the description of the pitted face of his cellmate

    marc nash

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  3. This is a smooth blend of dark horror, with a marbling of comedy running through it. Nicely written John.

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  4. I've missed a couple of these and I have to make time to go back and read them. You do such a thorough job of the "what if?" game. Deep and dark and disturbing. I would love to see these illustrated.

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  5. What a thoughtful, different take on a classic villain. You've done it again!

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  6. Another gripping installment John! Who is the prisoner across the across the way? Excellent description of him. The voice is perfect!

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  7. This is terrific. I see it's part of a series but on its own, I really enjoyed it. A great study of this guy. The only thing I'd say is that the last paragraph isn't necessary--I think it's a stronger piece without it.

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  8. Excellent read! Would be interesting to see if the Joker could just quit and live a normal life, but I doubt it.

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  9. Another great look into the mind of a great villian. Each of these give him such depth, make him even more intriguing than ever. Great work, excellent description of his fellow captive too.

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  10. Love stories like this that get into the psyche of the villian! I'll have to go back and catch the ones I missed. Great writing!

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  11. I agree with what Pamila said. You've got to be deep inside a character to write something like this. I enjoyed this. Definitely spooky.

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  12. John ~ So enjoyed getting creeped out by listening to you (well, you know how I mean that). Being aware of the psycho/creepo sense of feel of your Joker when he started out ~ I'm sensing you inside the battering rams of his hardtimes head and wondering if YOU actually see where all the Origins possibly journey?

    Echo/applaud Pamila's panache point. You paint so visual behind plexiglass. Never put away your knives and joy buzzers Sir John.

    ~ Absolutely*Kate

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  13. This was gripping. I was first drawn by the nightmarish quality of him having commited these acts and not knowing about it, but am I getting it right as he said at the end that he was playing the innocent. Great details of the minor characters and their reactions. Good one.

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  14. Really enjoyed this, as is said many times earlier, the voice is perfect. You certainly got inside the his head. I would agree the rubber chicken thing kind of went against the tone of it though. Otherwise great stuff!

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  15. Not scared, just riveted by your story.

    Rubber chicken? Ah, he's a politician then.

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  16. You're inhabiting him really well, all the possible aspects of him.

    I would agree with Marc about the rubber chicken.

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  17. John, as much as I loved reading this myself, your audio telling is so much more than I could make it...and that final sign off? Chillingly good!

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  18. I still don't know whether he's sane or not. Right on the edge.

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  19. Dark. Disturbing. Makes Lecter look like a wienie. You pull me in to feel sorry for the guy, then give me chills big time. What if indeed. And the audio fantastic. (I so love your voice). peace...

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  20. The mind of this guy is intriguing and brilliant yet so very scary and unpredictable. I wonder what he will do to answer his own question. As always, love to read your stories, especially these.

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  21. Having the audio version certainly helped with the overall tone of this piece. I liked the whole package. Thanks.

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  22. I liked the idea of him being amnesiac and pushed into being who other people see him as. The twist didn't work quite as well because of this reading, but I'm sure that was just me.

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  23. This is a perfect story to read today. I like that you don't say whether he's been framed or is insane. I like the idea of joy buzzers and knives.

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  24. I totally dig this, John. I really enjoyed listening to your audio stream. Looking forward to sitting down and backtracking this bad boy.

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  25. I like the rubber chicken. It stands out in a way that the 'bruno' gag is understated, but fits the character. Perhaps it jars because of its extremity, but I like it.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  26. John, you capture the insanity of the character quite well. The bruno word rocks. It is a cool piece, describing this craziness.

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  27. Not as strong as some of the others, but the audio really makes this one come alive. Great series.

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