To listen to today's monologue either click the triangle to the left to begin streaming audio, or click this text to download the MP3. Enjoy me going silly for seventy-one seconds.
A word of warning: what you are about to see cannot happen. It can never have happened. It will not happen. It is nevertheless real. Everything beyond this door is one-hundred-and-one percent true and nothing will change that. But these things do not happen. Every member of tonight’s audience must concede that on any day of the year that everything they will see tonight is impossible. You swear its oath when you get up for work in the morning, and have low-fat lunches, and fall in love, and grow old and turn to dust. There are things that we as a society agree do not happen. It is for the sake of productivity, efficiency, and other fine traits that make men build doors. For your sanity and my liability I insist that you concede that what you are about to see is true and truly not happening. If you cannot concede it, cannot concede without first seeing what cannot lie beyond this door, then I must ask you to take your refund and return to the parking lot. To those who make concessions to what cannot be, though, I invite you: ladies and gentlemen, to the door.
I liked that. I envisioned a young P.T. Barnum, with a top hat and cane, luring in members of the audience to a closed red door.
ReplyDeleteI thought it sounded very much like the beginning of a magic act. The magician inviting the audience to suspend belief, and convince them of the gravity of the situation. Actually, this makes it all seem a bit dangerous...
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me a lot of Twilight Zone.It has that mysterious, weirdly wonderful quality to it. :)
ReplyDelete"It is for the sake of productivity, efficiency, and other fine traits that make men build doors."
ReplyDeleteThat line is such a beauty! Folks content to sleep full bellied with a roof overhead did not coin the terms "productivity" and "efficiency" and would have no need for doors.
Alan got me. I was trying to channel a little Barnum for this. What kind of magic act or Twilight Zone-y show he's foisting I can't say - maybe he's plugging my entire blog here. Yeah, that's the ticket!
ReplyDeleteI definitely caught the PT Barnum voice. Nicely done, John. We need a follow up "Beyond the Door"
ReplyDeleteThe circus huckster feel is ever so much more evident in the audio version.
ReplyDeleteN i c e.
*grinning*
[my word verification was :stupro]
So terribly, wretchedly curious to see what lies behind the damn door now!
ReplyDelete