Monday, November 8, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Parental Guidance for AMC’s The Walking Dead

This program contains violence, strong language and sexual situations. It may be too intense for some viewers.

Parental guidance is advised.

Of course, it opened up with a married woman yanking off her shirt, her husband’s best friend sucking on her belly button, and them proceeding to fuck in the dirt. So if your kids got passed that, we assume you’re either okay with it or unaware the TV is on.

Also, we’ve spent millions of dollars promoting the fact that decomposing bodies came back to life to eat people in our show.

Also, “dead” is in the title.

We’re just saying, you’re half an hour into an hour-long episode in which people were eaten alive, put guns to each other’s heads, a white man called a black man “nigger,” and several undead skulls were crushed with baseball bats. Your kids are totally going to hurl on the carpet in the dismemberment scene at 10:36. If you don’t realize this is inappropriate for children, we don’t feel guilty. We’re only putting this warning out there in case you’re dumb enough to sue.

Again, parental guidance is advised.


  1. Spot on, John, though I may need to go re-watch that episode as I think I may have missed a couple of scenes to which you refer. Unless of course, UK censors got their hands on it pre-broadcast.

  2. My... TV has changed a wee bit since I quit watching it!

  3. Oh, John, don't be so dramatic. Kids see that at school every day now. ;)

  4. I was at a halloween party where they were screening movies w/o sound at the back of the room. I saw the MATURE rating warning at the beginning of one of them, so I made sure I averted my eyes the rest of the time. [didn't want to break the law with my immaturity]

    I knew a couple who let their 4 year old watch freddy krueger. Then they professed to be completely baffled when he needed therapy....

    There ought to be some sort of test for common sense before children are brought into the world. *sheesh* Oh hey, I sound like I advocate Big Brotherism. Nope, but I *do* advocate common sense. And lots of it. And hugs. And a ban on toys like Teddy Ruxpin. Things like that are just creepy.

  5. *big grin* I have kids and we killed the cable at about age 2. I kinda miss it. We may get it back someday when they're, oh I don't know, maybe 18?

  6. Im so laughing. Spot on, J. When the first five minutes of a show starts with "the big baaang" you know they are goin for hype. The first thuoght I had after the show is 'the whole of mankind are a bunch of politically correct weenies'.

  7. Jodi, it definitely feels like they've "reimagined" the infidelity subplot for base titillation. And for all the doubters, some elements are still interesting, and having read the comics I know they have dynamite source material. Right now the show is simply too deep in the AMC comfort zone: mean and unhappy people going down paths that make them and/or others unhappy. To be fair, the zombie apocalypse warrants this more than an ad agency, but we'll see if the program grows up.

    That's not what I was mocking here, though. Last night, taking in that show and seeing a warning pop up half an hour in - that was so silly. Only fifteen people who happened to change to AMC right then could possibly have been served by it.

  8. I know... those warnigs are ridiculous...


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