Monday, February 7, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Deputy Wallace Handles Zombies

I'm dropping this into Tuesday Serial. I'm not sure if I'll actually follow Wallace through the zombie apocalypse or not. Would you folks want to read that? If enough do, then I'll get a serial in gear to alternate with Possible Origins.

No sooner had he locked the Holding Room door, then the radio on his belt crackled. He pulled it free and let it crackle into his ear, hoping it would dampen the noises coming from the station outside.

The crackling gave way to a harried voice. "Deputy Wallace, are you there?"


"This is Central. The disease your department has been combating today is more complicated than we originally thought. At least three officers from your department are dead."

Wallace looked at the oak door. He squinted so hard he might stare right through it, at what was going on in the P.D.

"Yeah, at least three."

"Have you made physical contact with any infected civilians?"


"Warning signs including staggering, prolonged disorientation and inexplicable irritability. Be warned that they bite."

He pulled a chair from the stainless steel table. He had the sudden desire to sit.

"They try."

"You've had no fluid exchange with any potentially infected individuals? It says here they also… I don’t know what shambling is, or if that’s spelled wrong."

"I’m pretty sure I haven’t swapped fluid with anybody this week."

"Be warned that infection does not terminate in thirty-six hours like originally believed. Patients who appear to lose vital signs may return to consciousness in another stage of the disease."

"Yeah, a pissed off stage."

As though to agree, fists banged on the oak door. He could hear them panting.

"These individuals cannot be cured. You are advised to discharge firearms against any infected person who appears to lose vital signs, or who enters the post-comatose state. You must aim for the head."

“When can I expect you guys?”

“Evacuation is on indefinite hiatus. We will contact you again with updates sometime between six and eight in the evening tomorrow.”

“Really? Tomorrow?”

He looked at the radio speaker. All it gave him for response was static. He set the plastic thing on the bare table. He laid his gun next to it.

Fists banged louder on the oaken door. He looked between it and his fingers, trying to estimate the number of hands outside, and the number of bullets inside.


  1. Deputy Wallace is highly entertaining. I do hope he lives.

    I like the official police-type-language used to describe a zombie infestation, like "You are advised to discharge firearms against any infected person who appears to lose vital signs... You must aim for the head." If he hadn't already been dealing with the problem, is there any way he'd believe what Central is saying?

    Do you know if anyone has done anything interesting recently with the origins of the zombie legends, the ones based in Vou-Doun (I think is the correct spelling of Voo-Doo)?

  2. Well John, I would like to read more of this. Wallace seems like an interesting kind of zombie hunter and like Jemma, I enjoyed the way the police deal with the issue. Entertaining. I like short chapters too: more likely to read it.

  3. It's right up there with Rick from Walking Dead (the comic, not the tv series). Totally into it and would happily follow his exploits in a serial.

  4. very precise balance of exposition and dialogue. from what we are given, it reads like a chapter in a book.


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