Friday, June 24, 2011

"The Stork Option" at Weird Tales!

Today's story only takes a minute. 1:03, to be precise. It's presented by Weird Tales Magazine.

I must have Ann VanderMeer for helping select this one. Weird Tales is the highest profile organization to buy one of my stories, even if they selected one of the all-time shortest.

Any 'Likes' on the Youtube page would be greatly appreciated. I've opened comments on this hub post if you'd like to respond on the Bathroom Monologues itself.


  1. Hi,

    I like th estory. New follower so will have a wander around to see wha you've got here, if that's okay.

    Moody Writing

  2. Ha Ha I think your stork option is much better than the gooseberry bush one! :)

  3. "Epidural just won't cut it?" *groan!*

    Congrats on this, John. Weird Tales is a favourite. :)

  4. Congrats, John! That was an unorthodox way to present a story, but clever!

    "Avian genes are 99.8% recessive," huh? Riiiiiiiiight.

  5. Well done, John. I love the 99.8% recessive avian genes.

  6. Loved the format to tell the tale. So very cool. Great twisted tale.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  7. Congratulations! Liked the page too. :)

  8. Haha! Loved the format.
    Recessive avian genes or no - I would far prefer this method than the natural one...

  9. Jodi, not feeling so sore about my Weird Tales sale now? It is a tiny one, but it does feel great. Thanks!

    Anthony, Adam. Ganymeder and Anne - thank you all. I'm glad you got a kick out of it.

    Moody, welcome to the Bathroom Monologues! You might check out the 'Popular Posts' to the left. I've got over a thousand posts kicking around, running pretty much all stripes of content. Please let me know what you like.

    Helen, I'm unfamiliar with the 'gooseberry bush' option. How does it work?

    Jen, what, you think babies pop out painlessly? Much easier to have a stork drop one off. Though I suppose we could have the stork drop off needles.

    Mr. FAR, I like that Weird Tales is trying such an experiment. For a venerable print magazine to play around on Youtube is unusual. Usually all we get is the NYTimes having reporters tell you things they'd otherwise write down.

    Tony and Mazz, so long as baby doesn't need plucking, right?

  10. Recessive genes?! NOW you tell me! Why, oh, why did I not read the fine print?!


    Pretty cool, John. :)

  11. Very cute story and a fun way to present it.

  12. Way cool John, congrats on the Weird Tales pub! I'll go hoot huzzahs on Youtube.

  13. thought I posted a comment. must not have gone through. Anyway I like the idea and if it is available in my area, I would like to take advantage of it. LOL

    PS. I liked it on youtube.

  14. Kat, provided you don't mind webbed feet popping up in your grandkids, I can't imagine any problems with a few recessive genes...

    Tim, I thought Gregory did a bang-up job adapting it into the video.

    Harry, it was a great thrill to to have Weird Tales pick up on it. Thanks!

    Sonia, thanks for giving it a plug on Youtube! I'll be sure to notify you when storks begin servicing your area.

  15. I love Weird Tales! Congrats on the sale to them. Love the format of the video, what a great way to tell a story!

    You sir, may be a genius.


  16. I've been a reader of Weird Tales for years. Glad to see you affiliated with it. Kudos.

  17. Had I known about that option, well, I'm sure the line would have been busy anyway.

    Cheers and Congrats! That's going to look nice on your bio!

  18. In think The Stork Option would prove to be immensely popular, especially with the richer folks, I'm not too sure how safe it would be though, what with all the air traffic around these days.

  19. Stacey, a genius? I convinced you in 1:03? I must have done something right!

    Donald, it's an honor to work with them. Was a real kick to get the acceptance note.

    Erin, their operators will probably be jammed for a while. Stay on the line!

    Peggy, always happy to be of service.

    Steve, our storks are trained to avoid helicopter blades, if that's what you're getting at.

  20. Very cool. Congrats, John.

    I wish someone had told me about this option.

  21. Yes, cool and quite a feat, world building in a minute, love the quirky slightly macabre twists of what happens if you are not at home when they deliver. Fab stuff.

  22. I love that this is on YouTube! (watched, liked, favorited)
    The stork is a luxury feature, pre-screened babies - such a great piece of microfiction, John, loved it :)

  23. Laurita, this option has not been well-advertised. It was a flaw in marketing.

    Alison, I didn't think about this as world-building, but you're right, that's exactly what it is. Should I set stories there?

    Estrella, haha, now that's support! Thanks for all those clicks. It's funny to see something so short get such praise from some folks such as yourself.

    Virginia, you mentioned on Twitter that I'd outdone myself. I sincerely appreciate the praise. Sometimes my best work is my most absurd.

  24. Cool sale, John! The story is great too, it feels very much like you, so it's a great window to your work. Congrats!

  25. Congrats. I laughed when it turned to the liabilities and why their willing to actually provide timely deliveries (unlike the cable, appliance, etc.). Since I find liabilities humorous, I suppose it is a good thing I'm not in the market for babies.

  26. Congrats, John! That was fantastic. And I gave you a big green thumbs up on YouTube.

  27. Can you get me the e-mail address incase my wife and I ever decide to have a kid...she'd definitely want that option!

  28. The video format of this one makes it particularly effective :)

    Loved the line about most religions preferring natural

  29. Now, where were all those options when I was having my babies? Just too darn funny, John! Priceless!

  30. Congrats, John! No doubt you posted this to commemorate my new granddaughter, born on Friday. ;) She was a bit more traditional though...

  31. Mari, any adaptation that didn't rely heavily on crying baby noises was bound to get the benefit of my doubt. I think they actually did really well with it, though. Particularly like the flapping.

    Aidan, if my subscription to pay-per-view channels was adorable and could die, I think the cable providers would be a little more reasonable. As it is their internet service tends to show up DOA.

    Danni, thanks for the double whammy!

    Michael and Cynthia, I believe they take orders by DM and prayer these days.

    Lauren, figured religion should patch in there somewhere, even if the stork is sort of its own industry. Everybody's got an opinion!

    Laura, it's never too late to pre-order another grandchild the cleaner way. And congratulations!

  32. Congrats, John. That's good news.

  33. Hahaha! Recessive avian genes? Wonder where those come from?

    Nice job, John. And congrats on getting on "Weird Tales."

    BTW, I was found under a lettuce leaf. That's what my mom told me. Ahem...

  34. A powerful story, very telling about our society. Surely a popular option, the stork . . . I mean, it's just the weather, right? Congrats on Weird Tales picking it up.


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