Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: Lord, Hear Our Vegetarian Prayer


John: I'm going vegetarian once a week. Meatless Mondays! It's good for my heart, and my great grandma used to do that praying for my health. Maybe I can count it as a sacrifice in prayer for a friend's health.

God: NOPE. RESISTING MEAT IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH, AND THUS SELFISH. YOU CAN'T PRETEND IT'S A SACRIFICE.

John: But my great grandma did!

God: TOUGH.

John: ...What if I promise to eat really delicious fat-heavy meat once a week? Could you cure somebody's cancer then?

God: I'M LISTENING.

4 comments:

  1. Who's trickier, you or God? Can you really expect to outsmart someone who speaks in all caps?

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  2. what jemma said -- you really should go into the ministry ;^) peace...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well at least he's listening! LOL

    ReplyDelete

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